Beijing Another View

I've never done a post like this but an email I received sparked such a good response that I asked if I could share it because I think it adds some really good flavour to the question what is Beijing like, through the lens of its vibrant music scene. Here is the response from Chris Emmerson which should really be seen in the context of two links that were sent prompting a private email exchange between three people, and which he has kindly agreed to allow me to share here. The links that sparked the conversation are:

http://www.demos.co.uk/publications/atlasofideas

http://arts.guardian.co.uk/china2008/story/0,,2264116,00.html

And here is Chris' response:

Finally got to these after a weekend off the intensive Mandarin. The science one was interesting: I did a study on perceptions of scientists back in the UK for a course I was doing, and the bitterness amongst that community is startling, particularly amongst biologists and biochemists. Scientists feel they have no status in the UK, and to do the 'good work' they all dreamt of as idealistic undergraduates they have to spent 15-20 years working in study groups they don't believe in, so that by the time they've reached the point at which they have the chance to set their own agenda they're politically conditioned to mark out and defend their own specialist territory, regardless of the value of research. A number of them suggested that since there was so much politics in funding, it was as well to have politicians actively running the show, since at least they might be expected to see the bigger picture and do politics well.

A lot of scientists end up in the private sector spending their lives tweaking established treatments so they can be re-patented: a fabulous waste of talent that was the elephant in the room as far as the article was concerned. So yes, China may have lucked onto a model that makes the most of a particular moment in its political and social history. I'd start on cancer if I were them, since living in this city is the equivalent of smoking approximately eighteen blue Drum roll-ups per day. I know because I smoked about eighteen blue Drum roll-ups per day until the day I left the UK, and my respiratory system has benefitted not one iota in two months.

As for the music: well....yes. If you're going to judge it in entirely musical terms....yes. And if you're a music critic, that's what you'll do so....yes. But personally, I'm finding the music scene here enormous fun. Possibly it's just that being in a foreign city gives you license to behave like a teenager sometimes but it's been a long time since I enjoyed going to gigs as much as here. The combination of aching cool and accessibility is striking. The bands all look like the cover shoot for your choice of cutting edge fashion mag the month after next, but you can wander up and chat to the lead singer after the set, even if you don't share a common language (you can also, in no particular order, learn a Taiwanese drinking game, teach a barman how to make popcorn in a microwave, discuss ska with a guitarist who thinks you're cool because hardly anyone he knows has even heard of Elvis Costello and get impressively drunk for under a fiver; although apparently if you're a Guardian music critic, you're above all of these things). There's also a bond with the audience that doesn't devolve into cloying sentimentality and I-saw-them-first one-up-manship which seemed to be an increasing feature of the London 'scene' the last time I was a hip young thing (which was, admittedly, never). And god knows, if most of them haven't got an original idea in their pretty little heads, at least they know how to put them together in a way that's entertaining.

In fact, I have wondered if it is the barriers to 'getting big' that keep things fun. Everybody's asprirations are on a similar scale; no-one's going to become U2 overnight. Having watched many documentaries about CBGBs, and then finally seeing the horror it had become in its final incarnation two years ago, D22 and its peers are the closest I've come to feeling how I imagine that scene was.

Right then. Now I've sorted out the future of science, politics and music I'll go back to my homework......

Go check out this post on the Guardian for more on the Beijing music scene and Ed's intelligent blogging on the subject.

Freedom To Move

 

Just because I love it so much to this day. The Music is Bach's Sarabande and the Director is Michael Glazer. Ad by by BBH.

Chinese Advertising

One planning topic that needs some understanding in developing economies is media literacy. Mary Goodyear has looked into this subject extensively, and you can read all about it over here and Fredrik did a splendid post related to the topic over at his.

From the outside it may seem that the creativity is often lackluster in this part of the world and for sure, it is in the main, like pulling teeth to coax the clients (and agencies) to go the extra mile and explore some of the dimensions of advertising that can be achieved. Forgive me if this seems like I'm pulling out unremarkable ads but this is one of the first commercials I came across that stood out.

This is actually quite a big deal for a paint ad in Asia. I can just see the spreadsheet marketer saying stuff like "you want to show people throwing my paint around?" or "what have birds, hay and diving got to do with my brand?", "why isn't there a paintbrush in the picture?", "can't we have a basso profondo voice in the ad?" and so on and so forth. The reason is that the people who frequently manage marketing and advertising in Asia are often the kind of people who can cope with high volume but really struggle with ideas like metaphors, feelings, emotions and expression. I should call a halt to this right now because I could go on and on but suffice to say that a lot of people have made a lot of money managing that huge growth and volume over the last 15 years or so and are at the top of their game without actually ever squeezing out a creative puppy.

So I think its a big deal that Saatchi & Saatchi advertising got this through and I believe it was subsequently awarded an Effie which pleased me if only because championing creative is so hard and because it won for those very same reasons I listed above, that I believe most China based marketeers and agencies are simply not geared up for. Clearly Chinese customers felt differently than the average marketing whizz often does, because they voted with their wallets and gave a 46% increase in sales value of high end products nationwide and more than doubled the targeted 20% increase. There are however a few problems before we pop the Veuve Clicquot, because the ad is way clearly an homage at best, and rip off at worst to the Fallon ad for Sony Bravia, which I think is even better than Balls. Here it is.

So you can park that Effie and all the planning plonk that goes into saying how good the agency and/or planner and/or creative and/or client were because all they did was probably add extraneous process between looking in the right direction for inspiration and actually getting on with ahem 'copying it'. I would however like to see more emulation of the good stuff and a stiff brush to sweep away the marketing mediocrity that needs to make 5.5 (million dollars) by 55 years of age....you know who you are! The problem is that a certain genre of adman has made a tidy living out of punting the lamest of the lame creativity and the emperor needs calling out on the absence of threads.

Sticking out is a big deal in Asian culture. There is an expression that the nail that sticks out gets hammered in, and yet it is my belief that this cannot pertain to advertising. The nail that stands out gets noticed in advertising or can even be outstanding. I've spent a lot of time listening to greatly opposing forces in meetings with spadefuls of advertising spiel and waffle that talks a good game on words such as creativity, brand values and vision but all boils down to the infinitely bland. Why is this happening? Take a look at that Joy Island's photography and the last few seconds of the Nippon paint ad and you'll start to make the connection because as soon as I saw it on the web, I knew I needed to know the story and find the photographer.


Lovely isn't it? There's more...


Brutal huh? Probably not for marketing communications but maybe another day as one of my more challenging traits is that I like to press buttons. Its only when someone explodes that I know their breaking point that I understand what they care about. One of my closest friends had exactly the same characteristic as me. We were both political junkies and we'd be at each other's throats over CNN and BBC world news. As early risers this would sometimes happened before before 6 AM when we shared the same apartment. Great times looking back, but returning to my point, through a process of saying the wrong things and seeing where the greatest sensitivity lies I've uncovered an uncomfortable truth about the powerhouse economy which isn't really a brilliant insight as its all been said before. It is however the most raw nerve in China. Innovation is not a trait that springs to mind in the PRC but the one that created the darkest face was when I rationalized the extra 40 slides being asked of me as along the lines of "so what you're saying is to copy other brand's mediocre strategy?"

I've since found that the "copy" word is like a red rag to a bull, like spilled blood to a boxer, like throwing paint around to a paint marketer (ok I'm exaggerating) because in the absence of innovation all that is left is correctional marketing and 'the middle way' between too much emotional and too much rational in a brand. Then stick it through the research process designed to remove any of the interesting bits and lastly link test it so that if there is a shred of an idea remaining, we can drill it out and stick in something the respondents wanted instead. I ask you, why don't we just give our TARGET market some pens and watch them under the cross hairs with a snipers bullet until they have written the ads themselves?

Maybe this is why some people don't want the blue collar migrant workers as their customers because WHO would want those people in our nice focus group room with free snacks and refreshments, even though they are the backbone of the country. I mean, their media literacy sucks anyway doesn't it?

I always thought that the point of really good advertising, as with any facet of popular cultural expression is to lift people in some way through humour, feelings or observation because ulimately it elevates us all in the end doesn't it?

Or as a very clever and young person said to me last year. Confusion makes you smarter.

Basic Beijing

Until I came out here, I didn't know that Beijing has some ancient celestial and terrestrial alignment going on its layout, which explains its destiny to rule the entire Universe and beyond for practically ever and ever or at least till the water runs out.

But you don't need to know all that because I'm going to give you a run down of basic Beijing layout. First off, that square in the middle is the forbidden city and as you can see the roads are laid out neat running north, south, east, west except for those ring roads which are like motorways carving through the metropolis (much bigger than the A40M for those inside the M25)

Then as we get closer you can the Forbidden city which has a heavier outline because of the moat that surrounds it, and below that is a star on Tiananmen Square. They say it holds a million people if you want to get some scale of the action that kicked off in 1989. Just a wee bit to the left (or West) is an egg shaped structure which is the National Theater for performing arts I took pictures of over here

Just an inch or so north of Tiananmen Square on the pic below is the famous Chairman Mao portrait.

Yes, I've been playing with Google maps this afternoon and I got bored of checking out the military installations and started sniffing around my neighbourhood. I'm going to have a housewarming party called 'Forbidden City/Naughty Nights' and I've got the invitation card semi thought out already....me being in advertising and all that.

Electric Dreams Part III

Sadly that last electric bike didn't stay with me too long. Even shorter than the iPhone I lost at the APG awards in London last year which had the decency to stick around for 48 hours before bailing out. So after a splendid lunch with one of China's leading digital thinkers Kaiser Kuo I returned to an empty spot where the bike had been locked. Undeterred (because I'm well 'ard like that) I've gone out and bought a brand new one for about 150 Euros (10 RMB = 1 Euro). Only 20 Euros more expensive than the first one which was second hand. Here she is.

I've figured out why there are more electric bikes in Beijing than motorbikes. Beijing is unusually flat and thus quite suited for this type of low power mobility and also of course for bicycles too. Lately I've started to see roller blades and skateboards joining us on the bicycle lanes (perfect tourist transport for the Olympics I might add), as Beijing has the most bike friendly lanes I've encountered outside of say Amsterdam and specifically Groningen where although they are just as ubiquitous, they are not nearly so wide as here.

Just a quick photo snap above of the spelling or Engrish as its called because I want to make the point that the the English used here isn't for English readers. It's for the Chinese. English conveys an international sensibility (design, quality and innovation) and although it isn't spoken about much in the 'China will be the dominant language of the internet' discussion, Mandarin may have more users as a global language but its influence is mainly limited to its own country.

I'm reminded of the French spoken in Russian Nobility circles from my Tolstoy and Dostoevsky reading years. I guess it's less the quantity than the quality, and more about the influence. I should add that I had absolutely nothing to do with the creation or adoption of the English language globally, as is evident from my frequent spelling mistakes and poor grammar. It most definitely wasn't me!

Lastly the shop that sold me my new pimpin' wheels also sell these terrific bicycles that have that flat handlebar action going on (like the old Hovis ads) with a frame and brakes system that is straight out of the 1930's. I simply must have one these too as its exactly the type of bike I've been hunting down for years and years now. I expected to come across a second hand model but here they are in the 21st century still being pumped out new. I have no idea why anybody would want to sit in a car stuck in traffic (except of course a Hyundai or its contextual equivalent) when there are much smarter and cooler options as these for transport.

Quantity Not Quality

I've worked in enough Asian countries to understand that when GDP is three or four times higher than the E.U or the U.S then it's only to be expected that the work rate has to be a lot faster and/or the hours a lot longer. Nevertheless I think this ad for BBDO as part of a name change to BBDO China sums up the fixation on quantity and speed over quality. Here the agency conveys that their staff are the hardest and fastest working people in the business, overwhelmingly dedicated to servicing the client - Not one reference to creativity, craftsmanship, innovation, thought leadership or any the things that contribute to really great brand building through advertising. While BBDO aren't unique in this view of the business its likely that there is little else we need to know about their approach to it.

Beijing Pollution

It's a really beautiful day here in Beijing today although when it isn't a bit of satirical humour like this is always welcome.

China Celebrates Its Status As World2019s Number One Air Polluter

Via the formidable China Economics Blog

Good Lord!

Beijing Olympics 2008 ?

Its not often I plug on this blog but this is Jerry Tian. Jerry has been marvelously patient while I was stuck in Serviced Apartment Hell. He is polite, efficient and professional. I only really discovered the extent of his professionalism when I pushed it to the limit. Beijing is hopelessly addicted to keycards and even though I'm notorious for forgetting mission critical stuff (where's my goddam pen?...It's behind your ear Charles) I came home one night a few weeks back and realised my key card was in my apartment. The concierge service weren't really trying to help as I have a private lease deal going on and so I had no choice but to call Jerry at 4 in the morning.

Well not only did he take care of everything (as he has done for all my needs) but when I called him the next day to apologise for waking him up so deep into the night his response said everything you need to know. "Call me anytime Charles - Its my job"

So if you know anyone who is moving to Beijing or wants Olympic apartments sorted out. Visit Jerry at his website here for more details or contact him via email ftbeijing@gmail.com

Jerry speaks good English, does business in a professional manner, and if he doesn't have what you want, he knows someone who does.

Beijing Artists

I took a walk around my new neighbourhood last night. I usually ignore the punters out here or anyone trying to sell me anything. But as the guy had a studio art shop I thought I'd take a sniff around and came across a canvas that I liked a lot. I even gave it a name: "Pop Communism". It was painted by a professor that I hope to get some more details of shortly. Here it is.

Electric Dreams Part II

I'm so revved up about my latest purchase that I'm quite giddy with excitement. Over the weekend I finally decided on an Electric Bike and opted for a second hand QUICK model with only one previous female owner from Iceland of all places. It did feel weird sending emails back and forth to the land that brought us the wonderful Bjork, and in some ways I think the exotic nature of the purchase sealed the deal. That and the freedom and independence I feel it gives.

Looks a bit girly doesn't it? Well I think it rocks. I've already taken it for a rather large spin around town from Xidan to Tiananmen Square and down to Jianguomen Wai. I have absolutely no idea why electric bikes haven't taken off around the planet although I do like that there is no need for a license, road tax or a helmet. Ladies and Gentlemen the future is here. It's just unevenly distributed.

Steamed Buns & Hip Kids (Past and Future)

There's no need to throw out the past to embrace the future. The past is part of our fabric and contributes to our future. If we hide from history and pretend it didn't happen, history disrupts our future happiness. Coming to terms with the past is part of growing up.

I've finally moved out of the dreadful serviced apartment environment to a 2000 year old (rebuilt) Courtyard House by the Forbidden city and I'm loving the sheer history of it all. The peace and quiet of the neighbourhood really appeals; particularly the birdsong in the morning. I only knew I'd missed real twitters once I'd heard it again. Anyway I've always wanted to live only a stone's throw from Tiananmen Square.

Close by is a traditional shop that sells the freshest steam buns and dumpling soup I've had since I've been here, in an environment that is proper Beijing. I much prefer this type of restaurant to the luxury ones so often preferred by the expat community over here.


Some old boy takes that hulking dough and kneads it old-school-stylee into the right consistency by hand. He looks like he's been doing it for decades.


It doesn't take much of an imagination with B&W photography to visualize being back in the past, to a time when secrets were whispered in darkened alley ways for fear of public humiliation from the Party during the naming and shaming episodes of the cultural revolution, or perhaps the rarely mentioned Great Leap Forward which people from the West will know more about than many under 30 who are local.


So to provide some contrast to my morning steamed buns and dumpling soup (cost: 1 1/2 Euros) We did a bit of a Xidan run again on Saturday and I'm starting to like the scruffier shopping mall with mad T Shirts that aren't always trying to be so hip, but because of the sheer volume and variety of output that China produces, sometimes score a Black Swan for creativity and luck on the most random of details such as words and spelling, or Kitsch design serendipity.


Again these Beijing youngster are terribly endearing and for me constitute the really nice side of the people in this wonderful city. There is a naivety there, but as you can see it's not always incongruous with having personality or their own style.


Maybe we should get some of these folk into the agency ASAP because I'm starting to feel the pain of not hearing about creativity or ideas in four months, while definitely seeing it constantly outside the confines of the agency walls. These kids are the future and China is going to be a wonderful place for it. That I'm confident of.

Uniqlo Beijing

I blogged about the Uniqlock digital idea back in June last year (click the speaker icon in the bottom right corner for full effect - it still rocks as it's regularly updated) and frankly I'm a big fan of the marketing communications of Uniqlo. They are hip, refreshing and quirky.


I only occasionally shop there as most of the stuff is too straight forward for my liking but if I was into that plain and simple, done-well thing that Gap had going a few years back I'd much prefer Uniqlo over Gap because of the way they communicate. In short I love their personality.


I anticipate that Uniqlo are going to be massive in China after seeing their latest shop open in Beijing at Joy Shopping Centre. I was ascending the subway escalators a few days back and caught site of Chloë Sevigny on some Uniqlo wall posters announcing a store opening. I was immediately hooked. Now I know this will look kind of dull to people in other parts of the world but locally this is about as standout as it gets in China/Beijing so I do feel the need to blog about it. These executions are cutting edge for this neck of the woods, and would normally be stamped all over with the "well in China we do things differently" creative meddling that results in most communications as lamentable marketing mediocrity if not downright spammy once it is fiddled with.


I heard Neil Christie of W&K in 'this podcast' refer to some parts of the world looking for the differences instead of commonalities of an idea, and I couldn't agree more. Once the dull marketing folk who should really be in product development get their mitts on a bit of communication that is handed to them by an agency without the balls to stand for anything other than spreadsheet profit and loss, it becomes evident that the cardinal rule of advertising gets lost in the communication theory quagmire of venn diagrams, brand visions, engagement planning and link testing.

The first rule of advertising is to be NOTICED and that by its very nature means putting a few noses out of joint - It means having the courage to stand for something. Time and again I see an approach to Chinese advertising that is so timid it begs the question why aren't the suits in charge working in banks or actuarial cubicles instead of the (cough) creative industries?

Anyway in short the Uniqlo stuff is a breath of fresh air and hasn't been watered down. It's not Chinese, it's not Japanese, it's not American but it will be successful. The point of focus groups was never to let the 'consumer' (ugh) tell us what the creative direction should be it was about creative development and disaster checking. Those who hang on the focus groups' every word are destined to be followers not leaders. It takes leadership to be a brand, not the correctional marketing, and insipid rear view mirror copycat mimicry that is endemic in what should be the most exciting and new emerging market on the planet. There's a reason why China doesn't have a real global brand yet and I've talked about it more extensively in the comments over here. There's deeper socio-historical reasons too but I will go into that more fully when I write the post that suggests if you're over 25 and in advertising in China - You are part of the problem and not part of the solution.

Uniqlo - We salute you for being the nail that sticks out, for having a personality and being interesting. Rant over.

Marketing Mediocrity

It's going to be an interesting couple of weeks, but really I wouldn't have it any other way. There's always one bad apple right to deal with right? ;)

Bearbricks and Banal

There's a genre of Youtube video uploads with young, specifically doe eyed Asian girls staring into the camera or miming to Karaoke which I come across a few months back and then saw subverted over at Asi's, with a youthful American guy doing a very funny parody. You can check out the definitive curator of these Youtube uploads called mingming19, although I don't feel inclined to post the latest development which is a eurotechnopop (annoying nosebleed) variant that makes me feel a wee bit ill.

But what I do find interesting is the crossover of the Youtube visual to T Shirts pictured above which Gustavo and I came across last week at Xidan. I like this and I think its more interesting that the inspiration is citizen generated and shifts from digital first to the real world after. Note the 'BEARBRICK' in the young girls hand which is huge out here and across Asia at the moment.

FREE CHOCOLATE SEX SALE

There, that got your attention didn't it?

Today is Friday and I know you're all just gagging to labour away on some spreadsheets to quantify the unquantifiable. So to ease the pain, we (note the use of the Royal we, which we invoke if only to mock the rapidly aging farts at Wallpaper) are giving away some stunning Chinese prizes including a genuine post cultural-revolution antique - OK so its only mid 80's but a lot of cultural stuff got wiped out during those times and so its the real deal.

First prize originates from a rare film import of a Charles Bronson Movie that escapes me for the time being pictured below.


Second prize is a Super XXL Chairman Mao T Shirt which is actually something we don't see too much of here in China. What with him being 70% good and 30% bad.


In order to win these fabulous prizes, shipped to any GPS position on the planet (including Nottingham) all you have to do is answer the following Olympic question in the cleverest or funniest way possible. The question is for the Olympic 'tag line' pictured below:


What is the dream?


Entries in the comments section please, with the winner and runner up to be chosen by next Monday 9.00 AM GMT. No use of the official explanation will be accepted. What with it being so profoundly unprofound.

Big Dog Beta (Early Big Dog Robot Testing)

If you haven't seen my post titled DARPA first, then I really recommend you go over here and watch this before checking out the video below. This is why the internet and citizen/indigenous content were made for each other.

Awareness Test

I know this one by WCRS, has been doing the rounds for a few weeks now, but this is rather cheeky creative and it still holds up after multiple viewings.

Tibet

I've stayed well away from this subject apart from a nod to some of the themes that create this type of tension all round the world, including I might add the troubles in Ireland, which as it slowly heals itself, is surely a solid example of how only dialogue has a chance to ameliorate conflict. Anything else is a vacuum and/or the sort of binary polarisation that we are beginning to see played out in the theater of media. This morning however the front page of China Daily has a lead story headlined "Students rap media 'hegemony' " and I feel that it would be constructive to highlight the obvious, because pluarlism of opinion is not a default reporting in China.

I should point out that I'm not strictly speaking in favour of China's withdrawal from Tibet. It's way too far down the line for that to be a constructive move. Tibet was a piss poor theocracy before the Chinese Communist party annexed it over 1949-51 and it will be a dirt poor theocracy if the impossible happened and the Dalai Lama was invited in for a red-carpet-run to the throne in Lhasa.

We all now know very well that failed states are extremely hard to prop up. There's is possibly nothing more we would like to do in Afghanistan and Iraq than wrap up and call it a day if we weren't all so guilty of being compliant in the biggest media con job since say Kristallnacht with it's skillfully orchestrated violence or the more contemporary Weapons for Mass Delusion hunt. No it's better to let people stand on their own two feet and that can only come about with the maturity that maybe a few hundred years of participatory democracy gives such as the recent devolution we have seen with the Scottish and Welsh parliaments in the United Kingdom. Even then the discourse can be heated and confrontational.

The point is that bias in the media is always going to be evident. The notion that news media don't have bias is just plain stupid. Guardian readers like their daily dose of Liberalism and Telegraph readers like their daily dose of Conservatism. CNN despite it's left leaning bias couldn't provide the perspective that the Arab States needed and thus Al Jazeera was born. If you're looking for objectivity in your news I suggest you read both sides of an opinion and form your own. That's as good as its going to get.

But here's the point for writing this post. China is already emerging as a world power, if not the psychological de facto world-power already. This requires from the peoples of the world a change in mindset as to how the old order is perceived. As the United States staggers under a mountain of debt built by rich folk selling bad loans to poor folk with the poor folk picking up the tab it's time to reassess the shape of the world. There's a new kid on the block and if you feel uncomfortable with that then I guess its worth reminding you that the obsession with wealth creation known as Neo Liberal Capitalism is the reason why China is on the rise. Didn't we teach them this way? Didn't we say it's all about who owns the dollars? About the money and the power?

That doesn't mean though that the obvious shouldn't be pointed out. For as those Chinese students abroad petition Gordon Brown with their "29 Pence Action" Campaign, (notably missing from the blogosphere), a mature civilization's response should welcome pluralism of opinion and that they are indeed highlighting a bias in the Western Media's reporting on Tibet, for the Western Media have mistakenly taken to reporting history for reporting news. What happened in 1949 is history what happened in Tibet this month is news.

Finally I should end on the most obvious point for those Chinese overseas who are blessed with the ability to take their grievances to the Western Media. Good luck to you, but surely the irony of being able to do this while here I am, several hundred yards from The National People's Congress, blogging away on yet another banned blogging platform by the net nanny, in the heart of Beijing with absolutely no chance of writing a letter to caution the leaders pictured below, and now on the internet, that an eye for an eye only leaves the world blind.

Beijing Advertising

Media literacy isn't high generally speaking in China and more so in Beijing which is why some folk are content to lower their expectations - and that's not just the clients who are in need of inspiration. I'm not... but in the meantime I see some pics I uploaded to Facebook of some poster advertising for The Steak Factory that actually stood out (heaven forbid that advertising should stand out) were picked up on by the delightful Fiona in London so I guess I'm allowed to post them here too. I took the pictures not because they are incredibly good ads (we've all seen the food porn idea) but in a sea of mediocrity they stood out for having an idea and a standpoint. Fiona has done some great posts on China recently which you should check out.

Lastly I think who ever scouted the talent on this poster for a Bank in Beijing must have been tres local or is it just me that thinks the 'nurse' looks like a)Herman Munster b)a fella? Easy on the eye shadow luv!