The Queen of England's Jewel Encrusted Minge

The Queen has never once said anything interesting. She has never cried, laughed, hugged, joked or done anything that came close to human. She could be a robot minge and the British saps would lap her up and her paedophile James Bond MI6 films. They love it and one day they will choke on it.

Walmart And China

The figures for Walmart and China are colossal. The United States' ability to voraciously consume, coupled with China's unsurpassed capability to produce has led to the fastest input output game in history with considerable impact on the planet's resources. There are still many people who would rather ignore the moral impact of our work without knowing that there are ways to square the circle, but it takes some thinking, and some conviction otherwise there really is no point just gushing 'awe' at cute babies and bunnies and things because that's just programming on your amygdala which you can overcome with your selfish gene and get on with the business of senseless consumption.

John Grant has done a much more courageous job of showing the way forward with his excellent book The Green Marketing Manifesto and also his blog Greenormal which is a must-read for those who like the communications business and dig frugality dictated by the brutal logic of finite resources.

Some time back, we talked on his blog if Walmart or M&S would insist on environmental standards in the distribution and supply chain, it would have an impact on both China and the rest of the world. If you're not sure how this works, it's enough to know that Walmart single handedly pushed the world into using barcodes when insisting on its suppliers using them.

The same applies for pretty much anything else they put their mind to.

Now Walmart are famous for being miserly with suppliers and parsimonious at best with employees but there is a strong Christian ethic that runs through the organisation and its values, which when misguided are unpleasant but when constructive can be a force for good.

Following on their news last year to become the largest purchaser of solar panels ever, thus creating economies of scale for others, I read today in the essential China Digital Times that they are making a push in October for all their Chinese suppliers to follow environmental and sustainability guidelines. This will likely be a future trend for China and its suppliers, but if embraced can drive wealth creation that is not at the expense of the planet and is surely the single largest opportunity for making money in our lifetimes by rewiring the economy for sustainability. Anything else is just loose change isn't it?

Communication Breakdown

One of my new resolutions is to reuse paper and plastic cups as often as possible. I thought I'd start with the Starbucks coffee downstairs because its no hassle to rinse their cup and reuse. I also thought I'd reuse the polystyrene cup that McDonalds use to serve their delicious morning coffee that I talked about over here. The first morning I indicated my intention to resue my cup, and the lady at the till said "No, no, no". I nearly broke out into "you don't love me and I know now" but it wasn't the time to be witty so I persisted and she called the manager. I thought the problem had been resolved but instead my breakfast was served like this.


It's not easy being green, I tells ya. Maybe the folks from Responsible China can help out or as the New York Times puts it so well. "Civilization will attain new heights when we all patronize McDonald's and Burger King with our own knives, forks, spoons and plates. Wouldn't fast food be even faster if we brought our own eating equipment and did our own dishes? But then such basic social skills as maintaining our own supply of cutlery and washing our own dishes are beyond most of us once we step outside our own homes.

Electric Dreams

I'm annoyed and sorry because I should have posted about this at least a week ago, as it’s a really sexy idea. As ever with Web 3.07 triggers, I've been reminded by a post over at the excellent John Grant's Greenormal to get my shit together, because it’s really important. John who along with Mark Earls' book Herd, published possibly one of the most constructively important marketing books of the millennium so far, also recently did a post on how so many good ideas from the past haven't been utilized properly. I really got thinking about this when Matt Catt turned up to a party in a Sinclair C5 because not only did he tip up (and leave) in the coolest manner ever, but did so in an environmentally responsible way.

Beijing is looking very zippy with these electric bikes come bicycles that I photographed above. They may not look like a Hummer but then only cocks drive Hummers right? I want to look into these funny electric bikes a bit more and possibly buy one because I think they are a terrific urban transport solution.

I think we really messed up when we built our cities around the car and sent our kids into bedrooms instead of out to play. But if we could champion transport ideas like the above and the Sinclair C5 again we'd not have to worry so much about our children getting run over and they'd be able to learn all those social skills that we had a chance to. The ones that prevented us from turning into socially alienated school killers that love to post their dark obsessions on the internet.

OK rant over, but if as one global planner shared with me recently you're one of those advertising types who are in this business for the money can I suggest you buy John’s book or maybe read his blog and see how you can be both a 'legend' and do good at the same time. Otherwise you’re not part of the solution. And I got a problem with that.

Bikes for rent in preparation for the 2008 Olympic visitors outside Jianguomen Subway Station Beijing

Living with yourself

Wherever you are in the world you may have scratched your head once or twice and tried to figure out what infinity means. Then when you'd given up on this you may even have reflected that we live in a world of finite resources. Fossil fuels are a great example. They are the reverse of infinite. That's finite to you and me. Once our selfish and greedy generation have used them up (like the fossil crack whores we are) there will none left for our kids. (Cue handing over responsibility to the scientists who make iPods we can put into blenders to show how clever we are, and will ultimately invent some mythical power that the kids can then forgive our first-come, first-served mentality)

We tend to fight wars over them, set geopolitical policy around them, have a century of the cheapest energy ever, and believe it or not make all things plastic out of oil before we throw them away in the contented illusion that what is OUT OF SIGHT IS OUT OF MIND. Other than that we like to fill up our gas guzzling SUV's from pipes at petrol stations and get scared if someone does it with a cigarette in their hand, because that would mess up our Christmas plans. Ah yes Christmas, where we go on another consumer spending bender topped off with orgies of indulgence before nipping into the vomitorium to make way for some more mince pies, Chrimbo pudding, presents and more cake while studiously avoiding any mention of the birth of Jesus Christ who I can assure you took frugality very seriously. Its time to make frugal a word to worship again. It may just save our skins.

So how can we do this while encouraging people to spend, spend, spend while achieving those growth growth growth (ugh) targets that make the world so tickety boo? Easy if you really think about it but it will take a rewiring of our economies, some sort of managed population decline and building businesses around recycling, sustainability, community and wait for this making money out of value not money out of stuff as Russell pointed out over here.

Anyway, just in case this is popping your amygdala out of its neocortex because your marketing and advertising acumen pays the mortage and the thought of saving the world really gives you a migraine then relax, because one of the worlds best thinkers on the subject John Grant has just published his book The Green Marketing Manifesto. You should stop sodding about and buy it immediately. As John puts it so eloquently in his book. If environmental issues are a moral question, then not doing the right thing is immoral. I say this is more important than reading the newspaper and casting judgement on others. Change the world. Change yourself.

Across the universe

everyone is not someone
someone is not a group
the group is not the crowd
the crowd is not you
you are the universe


Richard Buchanan - Tuesday 6th November 2007

Is Smirnoff Full of Shit?

shaolintiger

Rob Campbell of cynic - a conversation starting company has called me out on my previous post and quite fairly suggests that Smirnoff are only interested in the purity of their distillation process and not the purity of the environment that we live in. I still live in hope that what we are seeing may well be a small but nonetheless tectonic shift in the future of branding values.

I'll be very disappointed if its a case of greenwashing as has been extensively documented by my esteemed colleague and one of the smartest planners in the business John Grant, on his ace blog Greenormal. But it remains to be seen if Diageo, the parent company of Smirnoff is to use this as an ignition point for their brand. Otherwise it would only be appropriate to add the usual film disclaimer at the end of the commercial that: Any characters and incidents portrayed and the names herein are fictitious, including any resemblance to the issues raised in The Stern report relating to climate change where the polar caps melt and large statues will be covered in water because of our reliance on fossil fuels, best dramatised with the use of oil rigs in advertising.

I think I need a stiff drink now!

Get over to Robs blog for some of the best conversation on the net. He's the future of marketing communications and is fearless about his beliefs, even if that means he has to go right to the top.

ATTENTION LEVELS

15yroldphotojournalist

Nigel Hollis, head honcho of Millward Brown asked a great question in June last year. Is the Link pre-test the equivalent of the Smith & Wesson Magnum 500? This began a much needed debate between advertising, clients and research about the value and relevancy of pre-testing that has been bubbling along quite nicely with a first response by the highly respected Jason Oke of Leo Burnett in Toronto and a further serious but welcome contribution by Fredrik Sarnblad over here. Nigel then responded in depth on his blog over here and Jason took up the debate with his post on Pre-testing part II over here.

No less a proper academic luminary than Dr. Robert Heath, author of The Hidden Power of Advertising - How low involvement processing influences the way we choose brands has weighed into the debate on both Nigel's and Jason (+Leo Burnett)'s blog. I wonder if the talented and authoritative Richard of Adliterate fame would care to chip in following his "A Kick in the teeth for Low involvement processing post" now that a robust cast of characters are assembled to stimulate the debate. This is a book that has long challenged my thinking of the different ways advertising can work as I've stated last year over here. All we need are a few clients and we might well be on the way to a civilised and constructive debate to determine when, how and if research should be used. This is what planning blogs were made for isn't it?

PSFK - Mind The Gap

The picture above is one I took while strolling one Sunday along Wimbledon Common a few weeks back. The guy was taking macro photography pictures of new appearances in insect life that hadn't been previously recorded and were appearing due to the changes in the British climate disrupting the ecosystem. Specifically, he was capturing a wasp like creature killing a dung-beetle like insect. Most people welcome a bit of warmer weather in the UK but the reality is that if we blindly continue with the current consumption is king economy, based on infinite growth, we can look forward to less acceptable changes in British flora and fauna. In my experience of the tropics its the snakes, large spiders and golf ball sized hornets that flip most people out.

One of the less obvious dimensions about the business of saving our own skins as the planet warms up is that a shed load of money is to be made in reshaping the existing wealth creation business model. The PSFK conference last Friday held a panel to discuss the topic with Karen Fraser from The Ethical Index chairing the discussion with John Grant (Greenormal), Diana Verde Nieto (Clown Fish) and Tamara Giltsoff (Ozolab). Not so long back I took some time out to study a bit about propaganda because it seemed obvious to me that there was no way that after the failure of Kyoto and the growth of China and India that the neoliberal capitalist model was going to rein in the excesses of marketing communications credo of sell more despite it 'getting hot in here' (so take off all your clothes). Actually I was pretty much floored by the release of the Stern Review Report on climate change which I had no expectation to see in my lifetime. If the human race can make a global business out of something like World Wrestling, Hello Magazine and Blue Tooth Headgear for anyone other than taxi drivers then I'm sure we can make a buck from shifting something not from A to B, but say from A to C. It really is as simple as that.

John Grant kicked off and although we've met in firstlife and talked bundles on his greenormal blog I only realised at the PSFK gig why he really does kick ass. John talks coherently in compelling joined up paragraphs and really could use an hour or two on his own to take us through a journey from sinners-in-denial to messianic converts. I think he's a national asset and at some point the British should collectively chip in to give him our spare carbon points because we need him out on the road and 'representing' for the U.K. around the globe since he practices what he preaches and only flies when only absolutely necessary. John opened with some breaking market research that aviation brands are the new dirty word. Can we anticipate a renaissance for the great British seaside holiday and the rise of the guest house again? Flying seemed to lose its sex appeal around about the time Pan Am were shot out of the sky in 1991, but its official now; only losers and drink drivers fly unnecessarily.

I urge you to buy John's about to be published book The Green Marketing Manifesto when it comes out, for all the juicy bits about how to do green marketing. He did talk about how the green (sustainable living) movement is in its early stages right now like digital was in 1995, and that there's a real opportunity for all marketing folk to get into this and start changing the senseless waste of that indulgent age 'The Consumer Society' and make good money out of it. Money and Green are not incommensurate, and one idea I liked was the movement to get children walking to school with a kagoul brand perhaps getting involved. However if you do check out one website to wet the whistle and that John has championed before, take a look at freecycle. Because sharing and recycling is the new Sexy black as I mentioned back here.

Tamara Giltsoff also chimed in with a similarly reasoned argument that a new sustainable business model is emerging and that its a front end change that we should be putting our marketing brain cells to, not short sharp shock. She also championed the need to put marketing and corporate responsibility (C.R.) together. We need to urgently be speaking to each other because doing good is actually something that sets products and services apart. Its not exactly rocket science is it? I did like the way that Tamara implied that SUV's were now approaching the social pariah status of something like a Chavmobile.

Diane Verde Nieto of Clownfish made a great observation for those in attendance, that modern communications professionals should be able to handle the schizophrenia of leading two agendas. One to sell our clients products and services and the other to build sustainability into the way they work. Again they are not incommensurate but it takes a twin track mind to handle the conflict in the transition stage. She also drew our attention to London's aim to be a sustainable city by 2020 which was something I wasn't aware of and will surely be a terrific motivator for business to reshape and retool. In addition Diane pointed out the Ariel low temperature wash cycle campaign(30 degrees) and that the internet is a heavy user of electricity impacting on the environment through huge data centers that are sprouting up around the world, as well as the costly running of computers and servers. Water, she alerted us, is going to be the next big challenge after carbon footprint responsibility takes hold. This makes complete sense for those who follow geopolitics around the globe and is a timely reminder for Sci-fi fans to reread Dune. Lastly Diane used a bleak euphemism for the business of carbon offset trading described as the equivalent for the environment of the morning after pill.