So Many People Are Crying In Their Latte

SPARKS, oh glorious SPARKS! They have brought me sweet relief, like a shot of adrenaline to the heart, a bolt of lightning to the soul. When suffering, they are my saviors, my shining knights in armor. They're like the jolt of energy you get from a triple espresso, the rush of excitement from a rollercoaster ride, the joy of finding a five hundred Deutschmark note in a Frankfurt Bahnhoff telephone booth.

They're so powerful that they could make opiates on crack feel like weak tea, crystal ice methamphetamine like child's play at JPMorgan Chase, and pure heroin like a distant memory. They're the kind of sparks that could light up a room, a city, a whole country. They could ignite a fire within you, burning away all your worries and pains.

And yet, as magnificent as they are, they're still no match for the destructive power of the opium wars. But fear not, for revenge is a dish best served cold, and nearly two centuries later, we've got Fentanyl, the ultimate weapon of mass relaxation. So, let's raise a glass to SPARKS, the heroes of our time, and let the good times roll.

Ah, Cate Blanchett, the Queen of Qool...

...there's something about her that just draws me in and makes me fall head over heels in love with her. Maybe it's her effortless grace and elegance, or her unwavering commitment to her craft. Maybe it's the way she wears black and yellow like it's nobody's business, with Sparks as her back-up band, and dances like nobody's watching, with headphones on and a smile on her face.

She's like a fine port, looking and tasting better with age. Her elegance is something to behold, a testament to her timeless beauty, raw power and talent. She's never been one to pander to the masses or conform to societal norms. She's always been true to herself, and that's what makes her so irresistible.

This Sparks track plus colour combo and lyrical straight talking takes on an importance not readily noticeable by thin-slicers including myself, which is why I listened to it twice and fell in love with the reward. 

Do yourself the same favour and be kind. Also, this is the dirtiest synth opening I've heard in ages. YIKES.

The Queen of England's Jewel Encrusted Minge

The Queen has never once said anything interesting. She has never cried, laughed, hugged, joked or done anything that came close to human. She could be a robot minge and the British saps would lap her up and her paedophile James Bond MI6 films. They love it and one day they will choke on it.

A New Dawn

I've had some messed up sleeping patterns for a couple of months now, and I was kind of hoping that the continental move and time zone difference would cancel that out. It hasn't and so I finally got to sleep between 5 or 6 in the morning earlier today a wee bit worried that I'd be fading very quickly. However I felt quite perky on getting up and thought I'd take a snap of the view from my new apartment to share with you.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you "The Jing". The air here is frequently polluted but this morning (as indeed was the first morning I spent here in September) felt like a morning for heroes. The glare from the sun on the buildings was so strong that I nearly broke out into a chorus of 'The future's so bright I gotta wear shades'. Well OK I lied about that bit but what's a blog for if I can't blag a bit right? So really I hailed a taxi and made my way into my shiny new work place.