Smile - You're on Camera

One of the first bust ups I had with the Red Bull pitch that we won was the use of this visual. I rejected it on the basis that it used women who aren't the main customer group, but more importantly because it is everything about branding in China that is wrong wrong wrong. It's easy for marketing people in China to look at the smiley happy people in Western FMCG advertising and think that's the way to do it, but what invariably comes out in China is a thick smear of unvarnished schmaltz. The notion of portraying anything approaching real life is anathema to the marketing heads in China including Li Ning who hasn't got a clue that the branding part is the dramatization of the blood pumping through an organisation, not some laquered image projection.

 

These girls are the Olympic hostesses. They are trained to smile and it's this training that is the problem. Not the solution. The Chinese bless them, have had a tragic modern history, that like the Russians is bloody and dripping in carnage juice not to mention infused with suspicion and fear. Nobody could really deny it, even the Chinese, but they choose to ignore it collectively white wash over what makes them who they are today. That's where it goes wrong.

So you can see that the smile is part of the Olympic orchestrated image. The idea put in front of me (yes this is the level of creative in China we often see) was that after a hard days working at their smile, a gal just needs to take a swig on her Red Bull to make it through the day. Of course the idea is risible and explains why I often want to just write the fucking scripts myself but just to be professional I pointed out that the reasons for rejection were, it wasn't female, it wasn't blue collar enough (lorry drivers are often paid a subsidy to drink Red Bull and not fall asleep at the wheel) and most important of all, that the smile did not come from the HEART. A synthetic smile is exactly what I expect Li Ning to insist upon and make no mistake he doesn't undertand that it's all about saying 'fucking hell, I failed' that makes a brand.

It's not just Li Ning. It's the entire country. 1.3 Billion population and despite loving them hugely for so many things, I've yet to come across one Chinese entrepreneur, or brand visionary who has the balls to embrace their flaws and their run with it.

There are reasons for this and I'll explain some of those in some later posts.

But in the mean time I'd also like to see a Western agency that can see past their noses and their short term immediate profits (show me one ad, just one ad) that knows it's all about saying no to clients who are often under immense pressure to deliver the synthetic goods, on time and on budget. What most Western agencies don't realise is that this is an economic bubble we're living in and that doesn't justify running with what I think is so often some of the weakest creativity I've ever come across and I think I've worked in more countries than most. 

One of my predictions however is that just like punk emerging from the ashes of a charred British society I anticipate an unleashing of the creative Chinese spirit once this amazing country hits harder times. When it's not all about the money because there will be less of it about. 

For the time being though most are on the oxyacetylane rampant consumerism which the smarter people in the West know has a logic that predicts and defines it's own end with a simplicity that will leaving most people gasping......or choking if you wish.

NASA Wants To Break The Ice On Europa (Good Luck With That)

Insider joke for those in the know. More info on the official story here, and the back stage drama (audio interview) here or the overall picture in Richard Dolan's excellent video above. Good pun if intended and excellent channelling if not. Punk Planning salutes you.

All these worlds are yours, except Europa. Attempt no landing there. - Quote from 2010 Space Odyssey

Punk Planning Banned in China

I guess it had to happen. The blogging platform Blogspot has been switched on and off since 2003 but I've managed to finally draw the attention of someone somewhere and been placed on the list, along with the greats like Robert and Sean (ahem), of Banned blogs in China.

SOFT PLAY - PUNK'S DEAD

If you type 'Future Sounds' into BBC sounds search 🔍 you'll find interesting music and interesting people.

They were only together for 26 months

If you haven't yet seen The filth and the fury I urge you to take the time out to see what is arguably the best video documentary of the single most important contribution from the English in the 20th century. From Beijing to Tokyo to Washington D.C. the only British legacy I've ever consistently seen as somewhat alive is punk. We stopped making things years ago and no cultural movement is still as visible to this day. One of the myths of the Sex Pistols' Johnny Rotten is how the vulgarity was worshiped for itself, when if you take time out to study the lyrics or listen to John Lydon it's self evident that he is an intellectual who bought a dose of realism to a fetid and decaying society that lined itself with the hallucinatory fur of glam rock and the hologram of let's pretend we feel good. Shang a lang indeed. Thanks to Neil for consistently reminding me that I'm not alone in believing we are on the cusp of potentially meaningful change.

Asian Poses

I've had a terrific day today as I managed to crowbar myself off fantasy island where I'm staying and make it to Hong Kong central for a full-on slap-up English Breakfast 'power meeting' at the Flying Pan (I went for the 'Fly Up' with extra side of English sausage just creeping into the picture on the bottom right) We had a terrific time because I'm a breakfast connoisseur and when tanked up on English Breakfast tea can wax lyrical with Shakespearean soliquoys or even riff on with an Iambic Pentameter (when pushed )about stuff like plate sizes, Croydon fry ups, Kate Moss and hygiene (it's all true), Audrey in Croydon who keeps it real, her ex partner Rob who is a FASHION HO (but a bit of a genius with it) responsible for educating me both on my degree and more importantly on Vivienne Westwood and the punk ethic among many other things.

I even launched into my recently formed "Hierarchy of Nuts" speech because that's the stuff that fills my head at random points. Do you want to hear it?

No I didn't think so but tough luck, as I made sure that Sherri (who is doing something very interesting with a boutique agency network start-up and her interactive head honcho endured my ramblings) I think I should be sharing it with you too.

It goes like this top of the nut food-chain is the Macadamia and below that is the Brazil, Walnut, Almond or Pistachio (interchangeable) followed by Hazlenut, and then there's a whole sub hierarchy of peanuts starting of with dry roasted and shell steamed (Asia only) and ending up with ready salted and then those awful lighly salted partly husked (is that a word?) cheap peanuts that cheapskate bars serve thinking they're doing us a favour when in fact they only serve to remind one of the poverty of taste being endured but more importantly I felt compelled to share that the Macadamia is the fillet steak of the nut world -  juicy, meaty, tender, and I think we concluded that the likes of the almond are not fully represented if the whole cracking procedure (fiendishly difficult in the almond's case) is not brought into the hierarchy metric. Good point I thought when it first raised.

Anyway, it's important to have an opinion on things as a a planner and the nut allegory only serves to demonstrate that. My planning mentor was alway one for making a game out of these things and would endlessly press gang us with impromptu list-games about books, movies or whatever he deemed worthy of inspection. This was before the ubiquity of mobile phone internet of course but it's a loss we should be aware of.

Lastly, because it was such a grand fry up I insisted on a photo of the glorious spread. I thought briefly, and not for the first time that black pudding is in my case an unavoidable  addictive reason for not giving up meat products (along with bacon, but not sausages) because despite considerable moral and ecological arguments for giving up meat I don't think I can - which fills me with horror . I have the ability to break down and weep or write poetry about black pudding and also chuckle as I did today when Sherri asked what it was made from. Pigs blood innit.

Along the way, I shared the Asian Poses websites for the pic above, and so I opted for the cutting edge vogue, of the puffed cheeks looks coupled with the rapidly fading Churchill V sign. You should try this shit because Asians (particularly girls) are well ahead of the game when pulling camera poses and it can rescue a bad pic or easily replace that awkward scowl that is meant to convey modesty but looks like glumness in many a random occidental snap. Here's the web site again for the afficianado.

Planning Scoff

This is Mr Humphrey or 'Word of Mouth Will' as he is known in some circles. He is easily the best networker in the Plannersphere and a bit of a bugger too I might add, but as he was cheeky enough to launch this blog without my consent (classic punk planning I might add and something I blogged about over here) I guess I'd better give a tip of the ol' hat to this little scamp. Will was kind enough to bid me farewell a couple of nights ago, so I'll post this photo in the manner I would most wish to remember him by. Tucking into the excellent scram of Maoz Falafel in Soho, and comparatively quiet ;)

Digital Backflips

NFGman

Well most of you know that I'm heading to the Wild East again and before I go I want to thank y'all. I've truly never met a more interesting and friendly bunch of people than in London this time round. It's been my fourth stay in our shining example of a multi-ethnic and cohesive metropolis that I love so much. I'll also miss the insanely rich architecture, chunky history, spectacular food, argy bargy pubs and most of all, you lot.

Sadly for me, but brilliant for you (hurrah), there will be internet restrictions for me in the future and this will probably mean less activty in doing what I love more than posting here, which is leaving comments on your blogs. It will also mean that this gaff will have less frequent posting and probably slow as hell comment moderation so I ask that you all kindly bear with me on being slow to respond or reciprocate in any digital way please? I'd really appreciate that and while Cocomment isn't as good as it used to be it's still the best at keeping an eye on incoming or outgoing comment activity.

But this is important to me because a blog is for life and not just for Christmas..... (chuckles)

OK I'm laying it on a bit but I'm quite fond of a little melodrama and it doesn't really work in Asia so cut me some slack this once. I'll be travelling quite lot, and able to post freely in the countries that aren't afraid of Blogger, Typepad and Wikipedia to name a few.

I also wouldn't be too harsh on countries that are still growing into the 21st century. You know, if we think about say the Balkans conflict, and multiply that by thousands, you get the big picture why a country cannot always give its people the full freedoms that we are so lucky to enjoy here in the West without it turning into a freaking mess. If indeed that liberty applies to the United States anymore, where as far as I can see even my educated and progressive American friends daren't say anything in the digital domain against the current regime in power. You know, stuff like invading another country for oil, lying about the motives for it, and all executed after one of the most questionable election victories in U.S. political history which we all forgot about because of that convenient terror terror terror terror terror (are you bored yet?) terrorist act. I say convenient because its not like the agenda was kept a secret or anything, by the well known names who signed the bottom of this declaration in 1997.

Anyway, many of you know that I have a deep affection for the United States. I grew up under its benevelont, generous and protectful arm during the Wirtschaftwunder of post war Germany. So its not through bitterness but sadness that I'm stirred up a bit like this. Particularly when the finger pointing begins about who fights hardest to secure the freedom which only ever really resides in our minds. Or as Ben Franklin put it best 'Anyone that is willing to sacrifice freedom for safety, deserves neither".

But getting back on track, the reason for this post is that its my first test post via email (and thus mobile phone...Kaching!). If you can can all bear with me while I go through lots of experimentation and make plenty of mistakes I expect to see Punk Planning looking a bit shabbier regarding formating or even just making much sense, while I play with the settings so that I can continue to break censorship rules. Because y'all know I'm fond of breaking rules right?

(sent via email with my standard signature below)

"The east shall shake the west awake
And ye shall have night for morn"

- James Joyce / "Finnegan's Wake"

America is not at war, the Marine Corp is at war. America is at the Mall

What I'm Thinking

javiekitela

Mark Lewis from Planning from the outside blog, in San Francisco has generously tagged me as one of the blogs he thinks about, in the 'blogs that make me think' meme. I probably read way to many blogs and there's loads to choose from but here's a quick five and why.

Made in England - Simon Cook keeps me highly amused (if not rip roaring laughs), has an eye for visually refreshing and provocative graphics, design and art, is a keen observer of life and seems to understand how to make digital most compelling.

Make marketing history - John Dodds is actually one of the tightest marketing thinkers in blogging right now. He posts small and easily digestible but important guidelines as we inch forward into a new model of selling through communication.

Zero Influencer - David Bausola has one of the best de.licio.us accounts that he feeds into his blog. I want to do an interview with him at some point and find out how he gets hold of all the good stuff on the net.

TIGS - An obvious one but I'm a fan boy. We're in the business of storytelling and it takes someone who really understands the breadth depth and history of language to put into words some of the more complex ideas that are evolving in this very exciting time to be in the marketing communications business

Capt. Pancreas - doesn't have forever like we all seem to think we have and behave as if we do, its a short hard lesson in how to drain the sweetness out of every second and a highly compassionate reminder of how lucky we are.

There really are loads more and some that I look forward to digging back in the archives for nuggets I've missed so no slight intended for the those that know I'm a regular reader and think about a lot.



Update: Yes I know its six I've listed (this is after all punk planning). I'm going to be at the breakfast club tomorrow from 11 am for coffee and hello if anyone would like to drop by :)

CIA Subscribes To Punk Planning

Oddly enough one of my passports is Maltese. So any time you wanna kiss my ring.... More on the Knights of Malta CIA love-in over here.

Good News

I've got a New passport *wipes brow* (And biometrics and computer chips and all the other lovely stuff that means I'm real and exist)

Actually the British Embassy were in the end very cooperative and seemed to know who I was, so maybe that journalist interview with the South China Morning Post did the trick but I pity the person who doesn't know how to be a squeaky wheel.

The bad news is I've not heard from Sam since last Thursday, as he's climbing a mountain in Tanzania, and I've had to assume the Punk Kiva funds will take too long to get here  now that I'm now officially a registered human. 

It means I can once again get on with my life.

I guess that Sam will take care of refunding all the wonderful and generous contributions you collectively made. I want to take this opportunity to thank both all of you and Sam for rallying around at a bleak point. You all proved that this isn't just about me, it's about us. It's about what we stand for and how we follow through with our deeds and actions. 

I'm enormously grateful and forever indebted towards your spontaneous kindness, humanity and generosity. To paraphrase Ali G: 'Is it because I is a social object?' 

;)

It's now important for me to get on with my plans for the rest of this year including a much needed trip to Beijing as soon as possible.

Once again Thank you. Hope is fortified by deeds and you just did it.

2007

Its drawing towards the end of the year now and what a year its been - I'll never forget 2007 AD because it came fully loaded with really good people, terrific connections, quality conversation and deeply interesting times - I can't say that about every year. There have been a few turkeys.

All the people I went out of my way to meet this year were both digitally-literate and networked to the hilt. I've been pondering recently that in theory I could go missing, and still feel confident that it wouldn't take me more than a few days to get back up to speed; what's new, where to look, what's interesting, where its developing. I'd probably never ditch Twitter though even if I do try a spell as a Benedictine monk. There's nothing in their rules on a vow of silence preventing an SMS of what I'm doing! 

What am I trying to say? I think this augmented extension of the self through the internet, can provide an ability to repair foolishly untended relationships quite quickly. That I think this nascent network in 2007 is invaluable in terms of digitally experiential relationships, and probably seminal in terms of human relationships. There's nothing quite like meeting the characters behind the keyboard. It doesn't matter about the country or the culture. I think this new social pattern is a different process than say being disconnected from your mates, since you left school and then the internet kicking off and finding Classmates.com or Friendsreunited.com rudely interrupting the illusion we hold of ourselves. The one that we have built in the absence of continuous partial attention reminding us of who we all actually are. I think this says bundles about the difference between the digital natives and the digital immigrants. I find it fascinating that in the future there will be no people like some of us immigrants who have the benefit of both hindsight and I hope a little digital foresight...... But I'm not planning on going anywhere. There's just way too much interesting stuff going on. 

You could do no better than look at Johnnie Moore's recent post about David Snowdon which reaffirms what I think is a profound change for 21st century communications. There is the notion that we are rewiring our brains to do what they always did best anyway; absorb lots of loosely connected information and build a picture from that which equates to a much closer representation of reality than the one that 20th century hierarchically driven monologue and the militantly linear and didactic process that the scientific method dispensed us. Oh shit, that sounds like an intellectually conceited mouthful doesn't it? I do go off on one occasionally. Sorry about that. 

An easier way to understand all this might be to highlight that humans are designed for chit chat. We absorb stuff much better that way. Anyway I didn't know I was going to go down this path when I set out on this post because I find blogging about communication theory a little bit like complaining about the food not being salty enough when the salt mill is to hand. But I am very grateful that some people have been paying attention because I'm (it should be we, but I don't want to sound like I'm aping Wallpaper), are just a little bit chuffed that Punk Planning made it into Campaign's top ten blogs. We're also deeply indebted to people like Rob Campbell from Musings of an Opinionated Sod for showing the rules and conventions that can be broken, while still being able to spot the corporate/agency stench of bullshit from leagues and furlongs away. Opinionated Sod! We salute you :)