Hey Charles...

I had to do some digital back-flips to get the pornography screenshots posted without someone looking for a stray clitoris to blame. 

The post isn't finished yet. There's no rush.

Dear Skype

Dear Skype,

I've been registered with you since around 2004. I believe I was in Thailand at the time but I'm a British National. About 6 years ago a client purchased 10 Euros of credit for me to do some work. Yesterday I had unlimited world added to my account by a Japanese resident as follows:

Skype Name: bkkcharles

Product name: Unlimited World 12 months

Total amount: EUR128.40

Transaction date: Jul 14, 2016

Order number: 8070000001338801760

Order status: Delivered

I've just been locked out for a 24 hour period for the second time because of unauthorized access.

Part of the problem is your systems find it hard to understand that other people pay you so that I can do work for them. I've never paid for Skype but I'm one of your better referral customers.

May I suggest you use a helpful telephone and video programme called Skype to call me and record the conversation so that a human can verify all my details, determine if I'm making things up or telling the truth, and more importantly have a record of what was said because this has blown out a very important afternoon for me for two days running and unlike you I need money to eat.

Thanks. I appreciate it. If you could let me know the IP address of the unauthorized access we may be able to provide suggestions but currently we're at a loss as no information is being provided.

Skype

I know planners shouldn't shine lasers in their mouths but Creatives need inspiration. That's our job.