Wall Street Journal

Chicks with Nunchucks Via Shanghaiist

The Official Olympic Cheer

In the event that an overwhelming urge to display anomalous feelings of group euphoria in a synchronized or coordinated fashion overwhelms the Chinese spectators during the Olympic games the official Olympic cheer is here to the rescue. More via Sina

I reckon Charlie Gower with burrito in hand doing a Mexican wave would be just the ticket too. Sometimes wish Mark was out here absorbing this stuff. Via Danwei

Update: Will over at Image Thief has a post with the memorable official line "This gesture demonstrates to the world the charisma of the Chinese people and our enthusiasm"

China Protest

On Tuesday, I was tipped off that an SMS was being passed around encouraging people to place a heart on their messenger and boycott Carrefour in protest at the Olympic flame's experience in France. Sure enough my messenger now looks something like this.

There's no need to have an extended commentary on this except to say that nobody questions the Chinese people's love of their country. There's a lot to love, and I'm particularly fond of the people of Beijing. However all countries/governments get it wrong at some point and the real journey in life begins when we begin to love and trust ourselves.

I think this young Chinese man who blogs in English has an international and mature perspective that corresponds more closely with the Olympic Slogan of One World One Dream. I blogged about it over here and questioned the sincerity and logic. Nothing would please me more than if the Chinese people proved me wrong on this.

Electric Dreams Part III

Sadly that last electric bike didn't stay with me too long. Even shorter than the iPhone I lost at the APG awards in London last year which had the decency to stick around for 48 hours before bailing out. So after a splendid lunch with one of China's leading digital thinkers Kaiser Kuo I returned to an empty spot where the bike had been locked. Undeterred (because I'm well 'ard like that) I've gone out and bought a brand new one for about 150 Euros (10 RMB = 1 Euro). Only 20 Euros more expensive than the first one which was second hand. Here she is.

I've figured out why there are more electric bikes in Beijing than motorbikes. Beijing is unusually flat and thus quite suited for this type of low power mobility and also of course for bicycles too. Lately I've started to see roller blades and skateboards joining us on the bicycle lanes (perfect tourist transport for the Olympics I might add), as Beijing has the most bike friendly lanes I've encountered outside of say Amsterdam and specifically Groningen where although they are just as ubiquitous, they are not nearly so wide as here.

Just a quick photo snap above of the spelling or Engrish as its called because I want to make the point that the the English used here isn't for English readers. It's for the Chinese. English conveys an international sensibility (design, quality and innovation) and although it isn't spoken about much in the 'China will be the dominant language of the internet' discussion, Mandarin may have more users as a global language but its influence is mainly limited to its own country.

I'm reminded of the French spoken in Russian Nobility circles from my Tolstoy and Dostoevsky reading years. I guess it's less the quantity than the quality, and more about the influence. I should add that I had absolutely nothing to do with the creation or adoption of the English language globally, as is evident from my frequent spelling mistakes and poor grammar. It most definitely wasn't me!

Lastly the shop that sold me my new pimpin' wheels also sell these terrific bicycles that have that flat handlebar action going on (like the old Hovis ads) with a frame and brakes system that is straight out of the 1930's. I simply must have one these too as its exactly the type of bike I've been hunting down for years and years now. I expected to come across a second hand model but here they are in the 21st century still being pumped out new. I have no idea why anybody would want to sit in a car stuck in traffic (except of course a Hyundai or its contextual equivalent) when there are much smarter and cooler options as these for transport.

FREE CHOCOLATE SEX SALE

There, that got your attention didn't it?

Today is Friday and I know you're all just gagging to labour away on some spreadsheets to quantify the unquantifiable. So to ease the pain, we (note the use of the Royal we, which we invoke if only to mock the rapidly aging farts at Wallpaper) are giving away some stunning Chinese prizes including a genuine post cultural-revolution antique - OK so its only mid 80's but a lot of cultural stuff got wiped out during those times and so its the real deal.

First prize originates from a rare film import of a Charles Bronson Movie that escapes me for the time being pictured below.


Second prize is a Super XXL Chairman Mao T Shirt which is actually something we don't see too much of here in China. What with him being 70% good and 30% bad.


In order to win these fabulous prizes, shipped to any GPS position on the planet (including Nottingham) all you have to do is answer the following Olympic question in the cleverest or funniest way possible. The question is for the Olympic 'tag line' pictured below:


What is the dream?


Entries in the comments section please, with the winner and runner up to be chosen by next Monday 9.00 AM GMT. No use of the official explanation will be accepted. What with it being so profoundly unprofound.

Tibet

I've stayed well away from this subject apart from a nod to some of the themes that create this type of tension all round the world, including I might add the troubles in Ireland, which as it slowly heals itself, is surely a solid example of how only dialogue has a chance to ameliorate conflict. Anything else is a vacuum and/or the sort of binary polarisation that we are beginning to see played out in the theater of media. This morning however the front page of China Daily has a lead story headlined "Students rap media 'hegemony' " and I feel that it would be constructive to highlight the obvious, because pluarlism of opinion is not a default reporting in China.

I should point out that I'm not strictly speaking in favour of China's withdrawal from Tibet. It's way too far down the line for that to be a constructive move. Tibet was a piss poor theocracy before the Chinese Communist party annexed it over 1949-51 and it will be a dirt poor theocracy if the impossible happened and the Dalai Lama was invited in for a red-carpet-run to the throne in Lhasa.

We all now know very well that failed states are extremely hard to prop up. There's is possibly nothing more we would like to do in Afghanistan and Iraq than wrap up and call it a day if we weren't all so guilty of being compliant in the biggest media con job since say Kristallnacht with it's skillfully orchestrated violence or the more contemporary Weapons for Mass Delusion hunt. No it's better to let people stand on their own two feet and that can only come about with the maturity that maybe a few hundred years of participatory democracy gives such as the recent devolution we have seen with the Scottish and Welsh parliaments in the United Kingdom. Even then the discourse can be heated and confrontational.

The point is that bias in the media is always going to be evident. The notion that news media don't have bias is just plain stupid. Guardian readers like their daily dose of Liberalism and Telegraph readers like their daily dose of Conservatism. CNN despite it's left leaning bias couldn't provide the perspective that the Arab States needed and thus Al Jazeera was born. If you're looking for objectivity in your news I suggest you read both sides of an opinion and form your own. That's as good as its going to get.

But here's the point for writing this post. China is already emerging as a world power, if not the psychological de facto world-power already. This requires from the peoples of the world a change in mindset as to how the old order is perceived. As the United States staggers under a mountain of debt built by rich folk selling bad loans to poor folk with the poor folk picking up the tab it's time to reassess the shape of the world. There's a new kid on the block and if you feel uncomfortable with that then I guess its worth reminding you that the obsession with wealth creation known as Neo Liberal Capitalism is the reason why China is on the rise. Didn't we teach them this way? Didn't we say it's all about who owns the dollars? About the money and the power?

That doesn't mean though that the obvious shouldn't be pointed out. For as those Chinese students abroad petition Gordon Brown with their "29 Pence Action" Campaign, (notably missing from the blogosphere), a mature civilization's response should welcome pluralism of opinion and that they are indeed highlighting a bias in the Western Media's reporting on Tibet, for the Western Media have mistakenly taken to reporting history for reporting news. What happened in 1949 is history what happened in Tibet this month is news.

Finally I should end on the most obvious point for those Chinese overseas who are blessed with the ability to take their grievances to the Western Media. Good luck to you, but surely the irony of being able to do this while here I am, several hundred yards from The National People's Congress, blogging away on yet another banned blogging platform by the net nanny, in the heart of Beijing with absolutely no chance of writing a letter to caution the leaders pictured below, and now on the internet, that an eye for an eye only leaves the world blind.

Beijing Smog

Beijing was immersed in smog for a marathon three or so days till this afternoon, and I thought I'd take a picture of how it looked compared with a clear day earlier in the month that I blogged about over here. There's a lot of schandenfreude in the Western Press over (well over anything Chinese actually) the smog in Beijing in the run up to the Olympics, along with less helpful suggestions that restricting the traffic will have an impact. It doesn't! The smog occurs over the weekends too. It looks very much like its the smokestack industries to the west of Beijing that are responsible for all this. The ones that made the remote controlled toy helicopters you secured for Christmas or filled up the Christmas crackers with plastic toys. Well you know how I feel about buying pointless shit.

I'm quite sure they will restrict these offending polluters around the time of the Beijing Olympics to make sure that our international visitors have a good time, and leave with a postive impression. Before the 15 million of us who live here can get back to doing what we do best. Cleaning the air by breathing it in with our lungs, and making the it sparkle and clean like below.

What I find most daunting is that things are unlikely to change in the short term. China is under pressure to reduce its trade imbalance with the U.S. and all the other countries that consume its vast output at morally questionable prices, I talked about over here. How are they going to do this? Well, part of the answer is that China will subsidise those TV's, personal computers, washing machines, air conditioners and domestically produced mobile phones to its rural/low tier city constituency before it asks the West for something in return. That last article slipped by a lot of people in the mobile phone business. It was released in the Indian press first just before the Christmas break.

Simple Semiotics

Earlier today I took a stroll northwards to the oldest shopping street in Bejing called Wan Fu Jing to think a bit more about retail communications and was confronted by some street advertising by Adidas. They pretty much 'own' the whole high street, which is either OK or just urban spam depending on your perspective. But let's park the media aperture question for a second because a lot of pants gets talked about semiotics in planning and so for a good pub bluff on the subject just ask yourself the question. Why are we unlikely to see this style of ad or the one below, appear during the London 2012 Olympics?

Of course there are still over four years to go and that whole shared endeavour thing might be in vogue by then. Lets see. Shortly afterwards, I nipped into a shopping mall for some noodles and I saw some more retail advertising and signage for a Chinese food chain that might just raise a smile. I am partial to a self referential joke now and again.

C'mon. In China? That's fucking brilliant isn't it? ;)

For the wise master's words (Bruce Lee was both articulate and a gentleman too) see my post on an interview with Mr Lee I posted over here.