Monday, 20 August 2012

Why Is Nick Clegg Such A Wanker?

HOW TO: Make your own Fleshlight

What you need: Pringles empty potato chips can, sponge pad, lubricated condom, bottle ring, elastic band or elastic wrist band, scissors, ruler and marker.

1. Cut the sponge pad down to the size of the can. Try rolling the sponge pad just as if you’re making sushi, to see if it fits. Make sure you’re able to fit at least three fingers or the estimated size of your weiner through the space in the middle of the roll. 

2. Once you have the right size for the pad, get a condom and mark the length of the condom on the spongey pad. Cut the pad again to match the condom’s length.

3. Position the bottle ring at the bottom of the condom, and then lay it on one edge of the pad and roll the pad around the condom, again like sushi, as if the condom is the filling and the pad is the seaweed.

4. Stuff your condom roll into the potato can. If you like, use red or pink marker and color the sponge to make it more realistic. Pull and roll the top elastic portion of the condom around the can of the mouth, and then secure it with an elastic band.

5. Use it with a water-based lubricant and enjoy your new toy.