Brand Tracking Mastercard All The Way To The Toilet

Julian Assange makes a beautiful parody of a very plastic "brand" and puts a positive empowering twist at the end of it. Is Mastercard these days the social equivalent of whipping out a Motorola Razr phone and shouting loudly so everyone can hear? Or is it closer to wearing a shell suit to a dinner party?

Are Harleys For Pussies?

Quite possibly the quintessential freedom-brand has nothing to say about freedom of the press, freedom of the individual, freedom of the State to pursue an individual facing fishy rape charges and so we're left wondering if the whole Brand image is an illusion that lives in an abstract and hermetically sealed world that bears no relation to the one ordinary people live in. Ordinary, as in people who don't wear shiny leathers, have long hair and sit on the fence usually reserved for gay moped owners?

What do Harley think about Julian Assange and those fishy rape charges? Are they even thinking? Or is it a thoughtless, no-trousers brand?

McDonalds & Family Guy

I shouldn't say this given my pseudo Neo-Marxist and anti Globalist/Corporate sentiment but I'm fascinated by McDonalds. No really; practically obsessed with them and particularly their breakfasts which (when I wrote this post and put it in the draft folder) I'm just waiting for some jeans to tumble dry (naughty given I'm in the tropics) and then I'm off for one of the finest precision breakfasts on the planet. The Sausage and Egg McMuffin with hash brown and coffee. I've also been squeezing in a couple of hot cakes with syrup after but you don't need to know that, because I really don't want to think about it.

So let's start as we mean to go on and shoot straight, because I think what McDonalds knows about themselves and what they don't know about themselves is the gap that I'd like to help them out on if a chance avails itself which is unlikely given I have a problem with Ronald McDonald. He's got to go; or at least maybe lose the clown suit, the make up, the big feet, the voice and that fucking red wig. I mean, we all know that a person better have a great personality if they have ginger pubes in much the same way that if born black in American it's a good idea to stay as far away from the law enforcement officers and their testosterone pumped, steroidal spiked aggression issues. That doesn't mean I don't like red hair. On the contrary; along with a Jewish Princess girlfriend I alway keep an eye open. You know, just in case.

 

I will come back to Family Guy a lot more, because when Faris wrote a while back that sport and religion have a wider remit than just playful competition and spiritual fulfilment I agreed with him and then some. I wrote back here that I think football performs an interesting social function when observed as conversation in pubs, and say, back-of-taxi discussions. I'll be using Family Guy for the same purpose in the future, as a tool, but first I should explain that even though I've only watched Season Five I'm convinced I'll be able to explain a lot of stuff using these types of clips that don't really exist legally on Youtube and yet are a poweful way for content producers to 'showcase' their stuff in much the same way as advertising works.

The one above serves it's purpose for me to dramatise police agression and also introduces some more people to Family Guy. If FOX were smarter they'd have every known  humorous scenario of 5-10 second clips available on a searchable database for free so that people could use it to explain stuff. Same applies to the Simpsons or indeed any content such as the ghastly Friends or infinitely hipper Seinfeld. Both of which I've never watched much of but get the gist.

Back to McDonalds because I read this tweet earlier by Saul Kaplan who I often disagree with, but more in terms of scope than sentiment. The thing is that while it's easy to bash McDonalds for being the archetypical globalised brand with rapacious corporate in-sustainability, it is not so well know that McDonalds is one of the more progressive global brands when it comes to moving in the right direction. Sure they may have some farming methods which are mind boggling huge but they actively work on their responsibilities much harder than many so called mega corporate brands. We too have our responsibilities as I wrote back here and I've been using the same plastic knife and fork they give out as it's no trouble to reuse.

But what really excites me about McDonalds is that I think they are one of the few brands that almost ticks off the religious devotion that is, like my breakfast addiction, probably irrational and yet as I've learned in many different countries I think McDonalds also has the ubiquity of understanding globally that means it's here to stay and which is why I want to be on the inside and not on the outside.

Let me explain.

All over the planet I will have problems asking for different basic words in different languages. My Cantonese is rubbish so I'm struggling to ask for essential things like 'water', or 'food' or 'somewhere to sit down' or 'coffee', and yet it doesn't matter where I am on the planet, even if the country has no McDonalds. Everybody understands what I mean. It's global language and that is a powerful idea which we need to nurture and try to work on so that it retains some sense of dignity and that too is where I get excited about McDonalds.

I first got to thinking about this stuff the last time I was in Hong Kong because I have a deep respect for a global franchise that hires a person with learning difficulties. I've blogged about this elsewhere but can't find it in either posts or comments so I need to repeat that when enjoying (and I do enjoy them) a Sausage and Egg McMuffin with Hash Brown and Coffee I think it's great that while I'm not quite so comfortable having my table wiped by someone with learning difficulties, who reminds me of the sadness in the world, I'm moved and humbled by brands that employ people with challenges in life, who might otherwise remain anonymous and day by day lose their ability to integrate with the world. So thanks for that McDonalds because I respect you and your more open minded employment policy. But there's also a lot more to you.

I was reminded only a couple of weekends ago on a Ferry ride away in Aberdeen, Hong  Kong because I got talking to more local Cantonese than any other time in my life. The Chinese are often held to be inscrutable but in my experience public life interaction is culturally different and like any other culture there's always going to be a latent resentment of other dominant cultures. But the subject is massive so don't sound-bite me on that or even thin slice me because I've got a massive post brewing on handwritten paper to try and flesh that topic out and it's both enormously sensitive and one of the trickiest to tip toe around without sounding like a pampered white boy - which I am. It does need typing up first though.

My first conversation with a retired but smartly dressed Chinese guy nearly made me fall off my stool. He paid no attention to the black nail varnish I've occasionally been wearing this year or even my silly hat and scarves affectation I've moved on to.  But for Asians they mean a lot, because the nail that sticks out gets hammered in and yet this chap proceeded to engage in broken English conversation. After introducing myself and explaining a little of what I do, he did something that is anathema for many people let alone an elderly Asian gent having a conversation with Gweilo as we're referred to in this part of the world (it means ghost and is semiotically up there with Farang in Thailand though like Thailand, it's ubiquity has softened it's tonality).

He explained to me that his son was lazy. That his son's wife was fat and that they both were not working full time although his son had some cancer that prevented him from working some times. He described to me how fat the wife was and how they both turned up at his house religiously each evening for a cooked meal that his own wife had prepared because they were too lazy to do so themselves. He didn't explain it with malice. It was pure matter of fact and then he went on to describe that he was disappointed in his son who had received an education in England and from his not unreasonable Engineers salary had received a reasonable number of opportunities in life. I couldn't help but correlate that I was his own sons age and that we had talked about how I could be so mobile. It was  a lovely converation while we drank our coffee together waiting for his wife to return from a bit of shopping in an area that I can only reference as being the Bull Ring of Hong Kong in terms of it's urban tonality and yet oddly enough I noticed it was completely void of teenagers. Babies and Pensioners yes. But no teens.

I guess it was me going back for some more of those hot cakes with that maple syrup they do which t led to my next encounter. Sitting next to me was a young and attractively dressed woman with two gorgeous toddlers clambering all over the seats and demanding attention in that way only really cute kid can pull off without appearing tiresome and boy these two kids were cute. We got talking and the mother used the opportunity to remind the lovely little urchins that they were both doing English at school  and so could say hello and give me their names. I spoke briefly to the mother who I admired because it was evident she was working in some capacity during the week, taking care of her children and both managed to look presentable as well as having delightfully cute kids. The apple hadn't fallen far from the tree in this instance.

I've no idea why I knew she worked in the week but it's a skill I've picked up over the years reading peoples clothes to know this sort of thing. Lots of little indicators like the watch, shoes, makeup and accessories. Accessories tell us a lot if we look hard enough.

Anyway, mission accomplished I dispensed with the ferry ride back and caught a bus into Hong Kong central as I'm determined to cover as much ground as possible while I'm here and get to know the whole place. The bit that kept me ticking over was the good luck to have proper interaction with locals. There's little chance that I could have done this with both a young mother and an elderly gent in places like Starbucks or Pret a manger and it's that social interaction permission that I think is a powerful part of the future of McDonalds because they've nailed all that outstanding value breakfasts which cut right through demographics and geography. I think it's time to start figuring out both more of the role they play in the social fabric of all the communities that they fulfill a role in. Which in this age is really a highly fractured and increasingly atomised nuclear family structure. The ability to faciliate more meaning in the world means, I believe, that they need more meaning management. Something I'm quite keen to do for them.

Social Causes

It's interesting isn't it that social causes like political movements appear to have more traction in social media than plain selling (i.e Not what's in it for me, What's in it for us?) James pitched in here about social value as more important than brand value though they could be the same thing sometimes in the future, and I wrote back here and here and God knows elsewhere, that this is the time for brand's to live with real values. It's not important whether they're left or right with their politics or their social causes, but whether they have a standpoint at all. The days of placing wealth creation at the centre of the wealth creation model seem to be diminishing when I see great creative ideas like this don't you think?

Couple that with a tweet I picked(nicked) off Faris early this Sunday morning, which single handedly redefines the academic definition of marketing, and I think we might see a valuable role for brands in social media. Only thing is they need to have some values and a standpoint in the first place. Not many yet are there? But surely it's only a matter of time before a global FMCG brand becomes the first to really stand behind say a powerful idea like 'campaign for real beauty' across all it's products and not just be cynical about one while pushing another message with others.

C'mon what are you waiting for? It's a mini depression and you all look and sell the same things. Stand for something.

Hat Tip to Mark Earls for spotting this even if we're having a wee squabble over the potential for neuro-ideas over at the deviant's place. You will have to go visit Marks to see the idea anyway as the object embedding is not working with Blogger.

Sunsets & Time

I thought I'd be clever and weave this post into something lengthy about time and running out but I think the pictures speak for themselves. The sunsets on Huntington Beach are astonishingly beautiful but the day care centre where the old folks are marking out their final days is somewhat different. No less interesting though.

The first image of the post belongs to a staff member's wrist at American Apparel which is a brand I've really fallen for. Who couldn't? Clean and fresh image, simple but noticably hip garments, and all priced very fairly with proper brand values including a positon on immigration that puts both the Democratic and Republican parties to shame (though perversely not George Bush pre 911). I've talked (at length) before about why I think brands in a product parity world can differentiate through having a position that sits outside the quarterly report. One that preferably upsets a few people too.

These are the sort of brand values which are the difference between those that stand for something and those that would like to stand for something but fail to have anything to stand for because that's what pretesting and focus groups do don't they?

Anway I've been thinking about time for quite a while and I think it's a long post in the brewing. It's got nothing to do with planning and yet everything to do with planning of course.

This last image is taken from the Nokia N95 and while not perfect is every reason why I'll miss having a 5 megapixel cameraphone once I buy an iPhone. Unless of course Apple dish up one in the future.

200 People Complained Out Of 60 Million

Meanwhile the Northpole might disappear this year; thanks Fox News (aren't the best family values, the same ones where the kids get a safer world?). I always get angry with people around me most stupidly when it's a mirror I should be holding to myself. Tip of the Youtube dear stalker hat to the Herdmeister.

Is Greater Mexico The United States' Tibet?

I'm having an email discussion about the difference between using the word success or win in a tagline and trying to explain that it doesn't really matter because both options are bland. Anyway I think Absolut Vodka have stumbled into ahem, a territory (intentionally or otherwise) that I believe some brands should think about, because the level of internet participation and debate says to me that contentious issues should be embraced, and that quite possibly there is a role for brands to host that debate in a constructive and meaningful way. Far more important than the meaningless endlines that are constructed to cause offense to nobody and ultimately please nobody. We are after all in the business of engagement.

I also wrote about this topic over here because I think we use the word brand values when the corporations who often are the most powerful forces in our lives (work and environment) claim 'values' that are rarely committed to anything of consequence. This is a huge missed opportunity I believe. I also said over here that I don't think the U.S or its leader 'the great decider' have any credibility left in the eyes of the international community to define what is right or wrong (particularly in Tibet) given their own track record, and I think Absolut have tapped into that debate with this ad for vodka which highlights the history of Mexico as stolen land by the United States.



It has now had to be withdrawn because we all know that the United States are hypersensitive to criticism that ranges from the American Indians, to the Mexicans and then Slavery. It has always had a propensity to protect its own God given wealth and the American dream (Illusion?). How long is it before we see U.S. government announcements of intent to 'smash and crush the Mexican clique responsible for this malicious falsehood? Of course I've got my tongue firmly planted in my cheek (I'm very fond of many people from the U.S and especially its political history), but equally I don't think we should ignore that thousands upon thousands of people all round the world are ignoring our well crafted endlines and joining in on this debate about Mexico and the United States on the Internet over here and elsewhere.

I do believe that its better for the flamers, pious revisionists and neoconservative right-wingnuts to let off their steam in an internet forum than in real life...why? Because I know from experience that they then feel they have had a chance to voice their opinion, that they've been heard, that maybe someone cares about what they feel - Even if nobody gives a fig. We all like the sound of our own voice when we're off on one don't we?

Update: I see Dos Equis have also tapped into this sentiment before Absolut