Sunday 6 December 2020

It's The BBG (Big Bald Gammon), Not The BBC




Richie Allen is a terrific radio journalist. 

I don't always agree with him (who gives a fuck what the dumbed down media say, I research what I want to know), but last night after a few days of long hours, I finally got to bed about 3am and even at 4am I was cracked up in bed. 

When Richie wants to be funny, he can turn it on like a tap. It's just that usually he's quite serious and incisive.

Not this show though.

The sketch where two Chinese takeaways get talking to each other is off-the-charts funny, and there are few pleasures better than being too amused to sleep, irrespective of how tired we might be.

Sleaford Mods - Shortcummings




"Shortcummings"

You have the vision when you move a notch
You get permission to be what you want
I snog it now 'cause the sexy spot is prancing on my garden
Look, I'm elevated, I'm Captain Hook
Just round the back of the shop shut street
The rain in the wood is like a thinner sleet
It hits my nose and all I got is twigs and fat weeds and grass snakes please
When did I get so fucking down on my knees?

You have the mission when you walk a lot
Don't be a slider, get it how you want
I snog it now cos the sexy spot is dancing like
Baby, Dirty Dancing aka another crisis next to the magazine stand
Where's our picture on the front of this magazine, man?
It's such a shame that every job here is dead
It's such a shame that every person I meet needs smacking in the head
When did I get so fucking down on my knees?

He's gonna get all his dreams
He's got short, short, short, short, shortcummings
He's gonna mess himself so much
But it's all gonna come down hard
He's gonna get all his dreams
He's got short, short, short, short, shortcummings
He's gonna mess himself so much
But it's all gonna come down hard

One, two, three, four

You really don't know what they've probably got
They've got your arms if you resist the trot
I'll dance it now 'cause the rest is turned up in a microwave
Dark brown with the wavy wave
Just round the back of the bridge, no sleep
Lines of the road with the yellow lights brave the night to my mind, who lives in that house
And what do they think all the time?

He's gonna get all his dreams
He's got short, short, short, short, shortcummings
He's gonna mess himself so much
But it's all gonna come down hard
He's gonna get all his dreams
He's got short, short, short, short, shortcummings
He's gonna mess himself so much
But it's all gonna come down hard
(What do you get for killing me
A tighter grip, a bled of dying thousand) [x4]
He's gonna get all his dreams
He's got short, short, short, short, shortcummings
He's gonna mess himself so much
But it's all gonna come down hard
He's gonna get all his dreams
He's got short, short, short, short, shortcummings
He's gonna mess himself so much
But it's all gonna come down hard

------




Might be about Dominic, might not be. 

I discovered Sleaford Mods on Radio 6.

I'm a SIX

Pure Tavistock

Thursday 3 December 2020

It's Not About The Money, Money, Money (We Don't Need Your Money, Money, Money)



I wrote here and here, that the ruling priesthood (they take vows), don't care about money, because they print it. This gentleman explains it far wittier and better than I.