Wednesday 17 June 2009

Asian Poses (cont)


I managed to hook up with the worlds most opinionated sod for lunch today and as he managed to snap me looking tres pimp outside The Oriental in Bangkok last time I thought I'd take a picture for posterity too.

Before I knew it he was doing that puffy cheeked V signed shit that is all the craze with school girls across Asia, and that he claimed he picked up from doing some bollocks he calls distributed digital ethno but which sounds suspiciously like surfing the net to see what J Girls put up on their bedroom shelves.

I thought it was all a bit 'last week' and that everybody knew it was puffy cheeks PLUS double cat claws this week, but it's hard to keep up with these things after 15, so I cut Rob some slack and just had a terrific lunchtime rambling chat, with one of the best in the biz.



Read his blog regularly because it's one of a kind and has a lot of common sense in it which we all know isn't that common, and it's also a piss taking, best one liners in the comments section, provider-of-laughs you'll find on the net, if you keep a regular eye on it.

You'll learn something too.

Challenging Conventions

The Telegraph posted this trailer for Coco Chanel and I thought maybe a few of you would know if it's your sort of thing if my review was rubbish but the embed conveyed the style a bit better than I was able to explain.

Luxury





I've been totally four nelsoned on the shopping here in Hong Kong. Most of 'yall know that really I'm a wannabe flaky hippy. I fly as little as I can, switch off lights and appliances religiously, use a fan instead of air conditioning even if it's a little bit uncomfortable, want to grow my own vegetables and have my own chicken coup I'm struck that I could probably fish for my tea while I'm on Fantasy Island.


Anyway that doesn't mean I'm anti wealth creation at all. We need to create value or utility in our lives (preferably both) and that is extended through the media of money and it's systems operations of banking with cash or the more sophisticated credit constructs should you want to borrow it. This isn't the time or place to go into money as media which is a really interesting construct when the penny drops which it will do if China get their mojo in place, and the United States blinks over the whole optimism or die philosophy which in itself is a lot more powerful than I ever thought and up there with a sort of Nietzsche Will to Power sublimation of virtue.


However, I love beauty. I frequently duck into designer shops and invariably check out the female ranges because I always walk out with an elevated sense of the human spirit when I see how beautiful some stuff is ( In the last week it's been Miu Miu Greek Mosaics, The Prada White Cotton smock tops, The Dior Boots, The Prada low key distressed leather bags (impeccable inconspicuous consumption timing), The latest Kenzo range (quite a departure) and blah blah blah you get the drift.


It also applies to the baubles of male accessories such as glasses, bags and watches as I'm not really into men's designers per se. It contravenes my code for self indulgence which is entirely paradoxical with my propensity to buy the accessories I've just mentioned but hey; each to his own and anyway that American Starred D&G jacket is whistling each time I pass there IFC outlet.


I thought I'd hauled in all that conspicuous consumption because apart from some Chanel Shades I bought in Beijing last year and two dirt cheap kettles I burnt through neglect, I've hardly bought anything that I thought was wasteful. Anyway I've  been having a complete fucking nightmare with PCCW who are just the ultimate time wasting idiots in the telecommunication business this side of Kowloon.

They fail to recognise the lose-lose logic output of their business because they waste both their time and mine. I ducked into Sunglasses Hut to convey that to them after twenty minutes of being put on hold five or more times that they were trying my patience and I was immediately aware while entering the quieter public space of the shop that I was using their space to conduct my business, but being a cheeky sod, I still asked for a pen to make a note.


When I was finished they cunningly asked me if I'd like to look at some sunglasses. Well the answer was no, because I have the glasses I love very much, I lose stuff all the time and it's expensive buying expensive shades or rather doubly so for me. However acutely aware that I was both using their premises ostensibly to sort out a 20 HK dollar problem (a few pounds) and that they had the Ferragamo shades I'd long been in love with since Beijing (that were on sale for half price at over a thousand HK dollars), I began to repeat over and over to myself that I didn't need them, couldn't afford them, would lose them or spill superglue on them in the cinema like the Chanel shades (don't ask). 


But the sheer patience of the staff in dealing with me, their manners, their small kindnesses and gentle chiding that the Ferragamo looked great of me (sweet mouths you) and before I knew it I was pulling out my card and getting the shades which are super super thin and lightweight, and so hardly no carbon footprint at all, but in any case I made it clear to the staff that they had proatively sold me the product and that I had enjoyed the experience. 


That's how I am. I try to save 20 bucks with my useless PCCW phone operator and end up spending well over 50 times that amount because I love good manners, good design and kindness.


The point came home to me again the next day because I met up with Noah, and while browsing a few shops ambled past the new IWC flagship store that had just opened. They make those Schaffenhausen watches which are v. popular in Asia, and being as Noah is a watch watcher's son (ha ha) we both went in. 


Well the first thing I noticed was a fragrance that I liked, and the lady greeting us said it wasn't for sale as it was the boutique fragrance and piped around what looked like a mid 19th century modestly wood panelled study with some very expensive watches; the most expensive more than a million.


Anyway the service was impeccable and really friendly. I liked the way they didn't look down on us, dressed in our hard to determine, how wedged-up we were, kind of way. And that's the critical point about luxury sales. I've spent enough time in luxury shops to know when the sales staff are being arseholes making sniffy comments, adjusting everything I touch or even just looking at their own watches which is a universal language for your wasting my time. Which isn't true if they know me but waaay to many luxury brands just don't get it that not all lovers of beauty dress like ostentatious pricks all the time. 


We like nice things and frankly I like second hand or used things too. Style is a matter of taste, not money but to be dripping in branded goods just shows a lack of imagination and there should always be something that isn't OBVIOUS.


 So moving on I have to admit that I don't really like the IWC Schaffenhausen watches. They are too big and just not my cup of tea. I wasn't adding potential candidates to my consideration set which is more of a fantasy league than anything. But anyway, Noah spotted that among the cool merchandise and social objects in the newly opened, and worldwide flagship store that they had a flight simulator cockpit for a spitfire, complete with video screen to play on. I'm way to British to ask to use these things but one thing I like about Americans is the relaxed way of inquiring about using stuff that seems to more often in the affirmative than if I had tried. So he got into the cockpit and proceeded to crash the plane repeatedly; thus losing us the second world war and obviously the liberation of Europe :P



While Noah repeatedly nose dived the flight simulator I was offered a glass of champagne which frankly I'm always up for but felt it would be misleading to drink. Once again the highly professional and admirably persistent sales assistant (Kam Fok) ignored my reservations, and delivered two glasses of Poo while I was given the only watch in the place that I would even vaguely consider. Still, it felt dam good on my slender wrists.




My stupid first thought was that it could be used in a backward clenched fist wrist to face defense manoeuvrings on some fictional assailant, which might sound aggressive and that I watch to many Chuck Norris movies, but I was informed that it was the official watch for the US Air Force a year or two ago, and is built to withstand the usual thermonuclear warfare as well as convert into a Swiss knife and portable Smeg Kitchen at the press of a button. 


But the line in the sand for me was it was called Top Gun and without even expressing my disdain for Hollywood approved merchandise it was conveyed to me by Mis Fok, that Top Gun was all about the military terminology, and is approved by the USA, but also nothing to do with the movie which is obvious when we think about because the movie is about real life and not the other way round. Sheesh anyone would think I've only been here three months instead of close to 15 years of pretty deep Asian immersion I've touched upon over here , here and here.


So the magic of this process is that even though I'm not a Schaffenhausen IWC fan. If I ever go down the route of a chunky luxury watch I'm half inclined to go down to the boutique and try that sucker on one more time because it felt so good. That's how sales are made and the old mistaken trope that snobby service is how discerning people like to separate there affluent wheat from the fiscally diminished chaff is just retarded. The luxury stores that know how to swing a sale from the likes of me and quite a few others I know is to be human, treat us like humans and you know. Try and enjoy your job which means making it a challenge to find a way to make a good impression. Social media might give us a second chance to make a first impression but real life is still about old fashioned intelligence, courtesy, humour, effort and swinging the impossible sale. It can be done.


Anway, this post has reiterated the indulgence I have been shamefully shopping in, and I've been promising it to Musa for a few days so rather than go into the social media opportunities for luxury brands I'll wrap up on my last Hong Kong luxury retail experience that prompted me to start writing.


After yet another wonderful fly up near The Old Bailey our gang of four descended the hill towards H&M to get a hat for Sherri. Chris paused at the lights and noticed that a new luxury baggage shop had opened. Let me dig out the card.


Bothos Flagship Store. OK, so I tailed Chris in and noticed one bag that really was a lovely beast of tan and white leather breezy travelling beauty and functionality. I know what I like and it was working. I immediately assesed its price around 5-10 K Hong Kong Dollars and parked the notion of buying it. However I was stunned yet again that Fillipo Perricone and his partner made more than an effort to explain the craftsmanship of the bag which I learned was made from Camel leather and makes for an interesting provenance story I thought. 


But you know it wasn't the willingness to explain the bag in a newly opened store. I'd expect that but I felt there was genuine interest from the owners towards someone who was genuinely interested in that bag. Polite conversation and a sort of matched agenda of people who know about making great luxury leather products and someone who actually has a bit of a bag fetish though usually for products out of his budget.


Then for the second time in my life and also in two days Phillipe offered me a glass of wine which I'd have definitely gone for but noticed that the original reason for popping into the shop was now standing around waiting politely for me to finish chatting (thanks guys. I appreciated it because I was off on luxury marketing for the third millennium at that point and most touched by some simple words by Phillipe that he didn't want to sell me anything but wanted to make friends. The wine was a gesture in that direction and though I was short on time, I felt the authenticity of the notion of making a sale from relationships that are allowed to evolve in their own sweet time.


I'll be popping back to that shop to get to know them a little better because like the staff at Sunglasses Hut and Schaffenhausen, Phillipe knows how to turn a glimmer of a prospect into an actively involved consideration set luxury brand future customer.


Maybe its just Hong Kong but these guys know how to keep a smile on my face while relieving me of money that can never match the enjoyment that comes from beautiful things...well not while I can afford to clear the essentials anyway.


So anyway, I'm coming out of retirement folks. I'm back and I'm hungry to work. Or I have to find a way of staying on fantasy Island and well away from an endless supply of beautiful goods with pockets of service culture that may cultivate more than just the transactional value of a sale because I always like to make friends with whoever I come into contact with. 


If they can put up the idiosyncrasies.

Research



I got talking to a creative friend of mine who has just finished a big shoot in China, and we veered onto the subject of dross-quality Chinese advertising in mainland PRC. But don't let me shape your opinion go to Youtube or Youku and see if you can dig out something that has anything to say. 

It's pretty much all pants, which for a nation of 1.3 billion people and a LOT of ads says something doesn't it? I talked about it bluntly over here, but there's a few more reasons why "safety first" is king of the mill. You might also find something in my Asian research posts over here, here and here.

In any case we got talking about a particular BBDO style of blockbuster commercial that uses a method I don't want to specifically mention here but which was researched by the client in China and amazingly the answer was that it wasn't as effective as real ideas.

Well of course we know that but it's amazingly hard to prove this because one would need a parallel universe and an A/B split to see which one is most effective to prove beyond doubt which is more effective but in any case I thought that it would be wise to point out that we can make research prove anything if we want and in the case of quantitative methodologies it's nothing more than a cloak for mediocrity to rule.

This Youtube clip is not new but I want to bookmark it for future reference on my blog so I can just share it with people who aren't convinced by what I'm trying to say in the hope that they will take the road less travelled. It's riskier but not if a proper conversation about how to solve any fears takes places. But that's a conversation that takes both time and courage. I'm also not anti research but a cookie cutter approacher gives cookie cutter advertising.

Tuesday 16 June 2009

Community



This is such an overdue response to a post I wrote over here to Andy from New Zealand but it's an important topic on what we mean by community on the net. Here's some of what I think for what it's worth. I want to get into the video responses a lot more so do add me on seesmic if you wish. 

Also I've added intense debate to my tumblr blog and you can get stuck in there because I'm using that as a social media sandbox more and will eventually strip this down to the minimum for faster loading and do that redesign it's badly in need of. 

Human is the new black
but what colour is that for my blog? I need to know. ;)

Speed



My land speed record when I used to drive cars ,which was a long time ago (I take a taxi if I really need to now), was 156 mph down the German Autobahn in a Brand new 1993 Corvette, notable for it's incredible torque during acceleration with a 405 break horsepower 5.7 litre V8 engine, platinum tipped sparkplugs, power inflatable adjustable leather recarro seats and most importantly the digtal speedometer readout which explains the exact speed rather than rounding it up to 160 mph which is what I'd normally do as an advertising professional referring to an analogue display. 

This all took place on the Autobahn between Giessen and Hanau on a beautiful crystal clear early Sunday morning. The traffic was quiet, there was no speed limit and my mate the General Motors dealer Geoff Sanders, who I believe still lives in Germany but may have since changed his name for reasons of privacy loaned me the keys for once. 23 years old and and an all American muscle car is a very heady intoxication I can tell you. I feel young just thinking about it.

Anyway it was quite unusual for me to get those keys because between him and the other member of the Giessen Airborne Division (so named because we always took off, literally flying ,over a hump back bridge on the way down to Frankfurt), I was the youngest of the troika, and had to wait my  turn for everything including the Suzuki Vitara which was the preferred Sunday evening cruise-about-town and which because of the removable top  and being an early SUV was quite a chick puller when we pulled up at Der Zwiebeln Pub for an evening of German cultural studies.

I say that tongue in cheek but actually I did attend the Volkshochschule classes which are evening language studies. I wanted to try my very best for a country that I was not only born in but have come to love very much. I also want to come back to that SUV and I will because out of the Troika I mention, it's only me that has not disappeared into the mists and yet only in Bangkok a few weeks ago I spotted someone who I hadn't seen for thirteen years and who I tipped heavily because I wanted them to know how I felt the mighty had fallen. And I also realised staring at that face which had aged exactly as I would have imagined, that I really endured quite a lot around that time.

Anyway getting back to cars, it is with some authority that I can say, of all the visceral and thrilling experiences of my life including say, sex or the youthful folly of pharmaceutical recreations where I left no stone unturned, that the most thrilling feeling I've possibly ever had was that Corvette barreling down the longest and straightest stretch of German motorway heading south until I'd lose my nerve because the horizon catches up in seconds at a certain velocity. Even though it was unlikely I couldn't handle the thought of the next car, in the middle lane, far away in the distance suddenly pulling out for unexpected reasons. I'm OK about dying, but at 23 years old with 405 bhp on the accelerator I was always much more about living. I still am, but the point I'm trying to make is if there is a war on drugs that really needs to be thought about it's the addiction to cars because there are quite a few powerful ways that car culture is addictive and speed is only one of them.

I confess also to feeling both ashamed and smug. The Corvette, a showroom new vehicle started to make a serious crankshaft banging noise at about 125 mph because as I later learned, brand new engines are supposed to be broken in slowly (and baby I ran that bitch ragged) before quietly returning it to Geoff's lot to be sold I think to a Staff Sergeant (E5) who memorably wanted to drive it to London but flipped out when we advised taking a ferry (before Euro Tunnel days) because he didn't now there was any water between the European continent and the British Isles. 

An E5 is responsible for up to twelve soldiers lives in a war situation and I don't know why they don't pull out a globe for middle ranking enlisted soldiers but that's just the way it is.

Anyway here's some car porn. It's very good and makes me think DC Shoes and Subaru have got it going on.



Via marketear

Monday 15 June 2009

Car Logic

This piece of film is possibly as good as it gets in being controversial, inspirational and compelling.

It's via
Faris and it's awesome. Will it do the trick? That's up to us not the corporations. It's about personal decisions to run, walk, cycle or take public transport if the car or more accurately the internal combustion engine is ever to be sidelined as the single most extravagant commitment to our own demise in the history of history and remainder of future.


What is Honda doing about this? They're making provocative film, which is to be applauded because it does at least encourage people to reframe their relationship with 20th century technology that is mostly stationery (parked) and then when being used is mostly empty.

So we're stealing from our children. But they may not have anything to look back at and moan about if that pricks your conscience.

I don't know if we have 80 years because the whole point of the Long now project is we stopped dreaming about the future as we may have tipped the carbon scales against us while snorting the fossil ones that are evidently so addictive.

But I tend towards optimism. 

In any case like I wrote back here, we built our cities around cars instead of around people and it seems like Honda have recognised that's a bad thing although they could start by mentioning the Toyota Winglet if they weren't so self obsessed. No doubt Toyota would be just as solipsistic. It's how greed works.

But I'm also somewhat pessimistic  when it comes to specifically car culture because even though there are clearly some awesome dudes in this piece of film (the Alpha male? - you rock) the best way Honda et al could change the world would be for the automobile manufacturers to collectively lobby government in a self imposed manner and clip their wings by imposing HUGE penalties unless they make standard, low emission, tax incentivised hybrid plus NPD mobility. 

But that's a bit like the collective self determination of many Japanese males (XX Generation) recognising that the future of the salary man was a bit of an intellectual con job that largely fostered a culture of bullying against women. XX Generation decided to disappoint their fathers and now still live with their longer living mums and wear lipstick for reasons that seem related to their rejection of getting laid. I've made that up of course. Or have I?

It's a collective decision for the better in that example, (and historically not exceptional). Yet any cretin can see that the corporation is all about those fathers, maximising the quarterly report for ever quicker and larger earnings velocity without really addressing the urgent and pressing issue that it only hastens us faster and faster and faster towards our own demise. (There is a role for socialised communications in all this by the way)

Top of mind as a throw away solution for a disposable society is slowing down the Corporations quarterly report to a bi-annual one. I'm sure you can think of better one's, but the greedy guys at the top aren't going to dig that are they? They're too busy digging our own graves.

So anyway, even though the environment singularity (where nature teaches us a big lesson) is tumbling ever closer and ever quicker than the insanely quick technological one, demanding we need tomorrows consumption today; we're still kind of relying on the stone age equivalent of fossil fuel combustion to be moved around, which I can't help but think is about rubbing two sticks together while surrounded by powerwindows, a sense of empowerment through acceleration and some decent subwoofers to drown out the drone of other cars ouside, because it isn't noisy kids that anymore and that's not because of the paedophiles but because of the car.

All that pace of change and we're stuck with corporate Cro-Magnon. You should watch this movie, but if you rely on Honda to get it right in 80 years time you might as well be honest and sphyxiate your children now.

You probably are if you're dropping them off at school.

Coco Chanel


I haven't watched television in years really apart from a little Olympics in Beijing I guess and since I've removed the box from my last few places of dwelling it's the first annoying thing I notice in other people's houses. A big blaring screen that disturbs conversation and if it's pumping out that Fox news sewage I find it quite upsetting in so much that it's a pretty good hate making machine. Not that I can tolerate the banal faux authority of CNN either. (Sorry Guys, I know some of you read my blog)

Anyway, I used to have BBC World on in the background for years, so I'm not trying to be too judgmental about television per se, but I really notice the whole monologue engagement media process. If I sit and watch something without commenting on it via crowd curation or just community utility then invariably it's really good by my subjective engagement metric(s).

I'm really fussy about Hollywood and think most is just rubbish and don't mind walking out of a cinema if I've made a mistake or indeed I have a 3 minute rule that if a gun is pulled out in any script within that time it's definitely a shit movie because good screen writers don't rely on rubbish tactics. Actually a gun in 15 minutes is unacceptable but less than that means it's unwatchable.

I had a long conversation with Noah yesterday about many things including veg-out stuff, which I aim to write up here as currently I'm really really enjoying watching Family Guy (made by Fox, remember what I said about binary thinking) on my iPod on the ferry over to Hong Kong Island from Fantasy Island where I'm staying. It's really funny and I'm making a fool of myself laughing out loud at some of the heavily contrived but beautifully animated jokes. The best one yet is the Moose that get's into the car while visiting a natural beauty spot and pimps himself to the driver saying "I can do Moose things like stand outside and you can take photos or (nice pause) we can have sex" Peter opts for Moose sex and I think it's wonderful that we can laugh at these things even though it's clearly a deviant idea. I'd also like to share the Bill Clinton "boy you are really good" lines but I should get back to the movie.

So after my impromptu Ferragamo shopping thing which is worth a post in itself to see how luxury brands need to work to sell me stuff (not the way 95% of you patronizing bastards think you do in the luxury branded goods sector) I passed a poster for the Coco before Chanel movie and I'm aware that she shut down the house for the war years. Also aside from Prada I think Chanel is one of the most distinctive and beautiful fashion houses while currently under the masterful direction of Karl Lagerfeld, although everyone thinks that so I'll write about who is kicking ass in the fashion world elsewhere at some point too

I lucked out as the movie was just starting so I bought a ticket thus preventing me from spending more money on stuff I don't really need but at which Hong Kong is brilliant for tempting me with.
The movie starts of with her life as a seamstress or pattern cutter in a small shop with a sideline in what I'd describe as semi penny opera French cabaret. Quite bawdy for it's time and it quickly becomes evident that by the standards of the day Coco (or Gabrielle) Chanel is what we now call a liberated woman which is actually an unfair moniker for a woman who chooses not to settle for any man she meets but likes. Guys are allowed to be promiscuous and woman aren't but of course it's a nonsense to suggest that there is an imbalance in activity. Mainstream gender interdependency logic sorts that one out.

Moving on the movie is in French so it kind of scored a few points just being foreign for me  and I even quickly got to the point where I didn't really need to read all the subtitles, but  anway it's a classically and delightful, poignant, quintessentially French style that I haven't seen since La Chambre des officiers which is a must see movie about the early experimental years of plastic surgery for injuries incurred in the First World war by French officers. Tragic and compelling.

Actually the movie is hardly about clothes and it was just delightful watching a portrait being painted of a woman who left her mark on the world. Even more unusual is the somewhat low involvement in the whole clothes thing. One get's the impression that Coco Chanel would have been brilliant at whatever she chose to apply her unusual vision to. I liked her. She was sexy, beautiful, unconventional, difficult bordering on truculent at times and wonderfully portrayed by Audrey Tatou who has that ability to convey authentic happiness with eyes that shine beautifully unlike the jaded and ill informed spinsters of modern corporate life.

Coco, is convinced that love is not for her and so is qualified to have sporadic relationships based purely on sexuality which I'm sure was heresy for the time but seems reasonable to me now. I had no idea that she eventually does find love in the shape of a wealthy French aristocratic figure who plays a man that is both patron to her intelligence and increasingly aware of his growing feelings for her as she drifts away from socially imposed neglect. Coco also falls in love with a remarkable English character who for reasons I wont spoil both inspires her work and wraps up the movie. Who knew the English played such an important part of her life?

Here's the great thing though. Coco has a certain style throughout the movie. At first it's unremarkable but different. Puritan, simple, unfussy and there's some playfulness as she dismisses the ugly and extraneous feathers that festooned the dresses and hats of the era. I could go on about women that dress appallingy because unlike men there's so much more opportunity to look really good and yet I'm shocked how many woman really get by on what's underneath than the style on top. But that's another post. What makes this movie really good are the costume changes where it becomes evident that outside of the hats that Coco develops a reptutation for excelling at, her idiosyncratic style emerges in a deliberately drawn out and visually punctuated manner until the denouement of a post war Chanel house complete with walls of mirrors and refreshing sparkle of light bounces around the fashion house while she takes the applause from the models of her latest collection in a modest manner. It's a great ending that we are more used to seeing from movies of that era. Abrupt but happy. They work for me but might not for everyone.

Without mentioning brands or even really talking about clothes it's exactly what separates a spreadsheet business from one that is about outcomes and not incomes. Go see it and figure out why it's people that make up Brand DNA and values not the bullshit that passes for link testing and lowest common denominator safety and predictability.

Bravo Coco.

Saturday 13 June 2009

Chinese Food: A LINUX recipe.



I can't believe I missed this TED talk which appears to have been on the site since December last year and that Jason over at 88:Bar has picked up on. It's well worth a look and is particularly worthwhile when thinking about the importance of food outside of nutritional value alone. It's hugely important as a cultural and sociological dynamic. Much more than we would normally guess. Nice find Jason.

Maruti Suzuki

Suzuki of Japan have a patnership in India called Maruti Suzuki. I did some consultancy work a few years back running around India for a multinational looking into the auto market and specifically car networks so this ad resonates quite a lot with me as some service centres are little more then an few oxen and some rope to rescue a stranded vehicle through to the usual highly trained professionals that run large dealerships. Pretty good no nonsense guys in my experience when it's a big outfit.

This ad is both powerful and lovely. As good as it gets in advertising, and came to my attention via Bhatnaturally who I think is a must have Indian Advertising blogger you need in your RSS feeds if you're serious about keeping an eye on what's going on in the subcontinent. It's up to a very high international standard in both frequency and quality of content as well as professional viewpoint. I haven't found an equivalent yet in China but will let you know if anyone comes up to speed or indeed you may first. Let me know please.


Asian Poses



I've had a terrific day today as I managed to crowbar myself off fantasy island where I'm staying and make it to Hong Kong central for a full-on slap-up English Breakfast 'power meeting' at the Flying Pan (I went for the 'Fly Up' with extra side of English sausage just creeping into the picture on the bottom right) We had a terrific time because I'm a breakfast connoisseur and when tanked up on English Breakfast tea can wax lyrical with Shakespearean soliquoys or even riff on with an Iambic Pentameter (when pushed )about stuff like plate sizes, Croydon fry ups, Kate Moss and hygiene (it's all true), Audrey in Croydon who keeps it real, her ex partner Rob who is a FASHION HO (but a bit of a genius with it) responsible for educating me both on my degree and more importantly on Vivienne Westwood and the punk ethic among many other things.

I even launched into my recently formed "Hierarchy of Nuts" speech because that's the stuff that fills my head at random points. Do you want to hear it?

No I didn't think so but tough luck, as I made sure that Sherri (who is doing something very interesting with a boutique agency network start-up and her interactive head honcho endured my ramblings) I think I should be sharing it with you too.

It goes like this top of the nut food-chain is the Macadamia and below that is the Brazil, Walnut, Almond or Pistachio (interchangeable) followed by Hazlenut, and then there's a whole sub hierarchy of peanuts starting of with dry roasted and shell steamed (Asia only) and ending up with ready salted and then those awful lighly salted partly husked (is that a word?) cheap peanuts that cheapskate bars serve thinking they're doing us a favour when in fact they only serve to remind one of the poverty of taste being endured but more importantly I felt compelled to share that the Macadamia is the fillet steak of the nut world -  juicy, meaty, tender, and I think we concluded that the likes of the almond are not fully represented if the whole cracking procedure (fiendishly difficult in the almond's case) is not brought into the hierarchy metric. Good point I thought when it first raised.

Anyway, it's important to have an opinion on things as a a planner and the nut allegory only serves to demonstrate that. My planning mentor was alway one for making a game out of these things and would endlessly press gang us with impromptu list-games about books, movies or whatever he deemed worthy of inspection. This was before the ubiquity of mobile phone internet of course but it's a loss we should be aware of.

Lastly, because it was such a grand fry up I insisted on a photo of the glorious spread. I thought briefly, and not for the first time that black pudding is in my case an unavoidable  addictive reason for not giving up meat products (along with bacon, but not sausages) because despite considerable moral and ecological arguments for giving up meat I don't think I can - which fills me with horror . I have the ability to break down and weep or write poetry about black pudding and also chuckle as I did today when Sherri asked what it was made from. Pigs blood innit.

Along the way, I shared the Asian Poses websites for the pic above, and so I opted for the cutting edge vogue, of the puffed cheeks looks coupled with the rapidly fading Churchill V sign. You should try this shit because Asians (particularly girls) are well ahead of the game when pulling camera poses and it can rescue a bad pic or easily replace that awkward scowl that is meant to convey modesty but looks like glumness in many a random occidental snap. Here's the web site again for the afficianado.

Thursday 11 June 2009

I'm Loving It

Holy crap I should really write a PhD thesis on McDonalds because like my Microsoft post they're so big they often get an enormous kicking over everything from the environment to fast culture and I guess there's lots for them to be responsible about, but really while trying to hunt down my most cerebral comment/thought piece - the one about the social function that McDonalds plays in Hong Kong I'm a bit lost. Mainly because it's an excellent brand platform and fits nicely to the commercial I've embedded below. So I'm not far off the mark.

I do remember from an observation I culled the last time I was here in Hong Kong, while frequenting the Causeway Bay restaurants for my beloved McBreakfast, and which I'm not sure if I wrote about on this blog, in the comments or somewhere else but which definitely have been used by me for other global brand categories in a few meeting rooms around the world when trying to contextualize the whole do-good-power or potential of planet sized brand spiel.

Not a subject I talk lightly of either.

But while I try in vain to hunt it down you might want to check out this execution by DDB Hong Kong because it really doesn't get much more contemporary and Asian, than with the Web Cam McDonalds 24/7 Home Delivery Service they're just rolling out here in HK (the commercial that is) and that's one I could write a few thousand words on because between you me and the internet I'm highly familiar with this service and can even reel off some off the finer points of the service in Bangkok such as breakfast kicks off at 5.00 am, the Spinach pies are awesome, and the delivery lads didn't mind doing a few errands for me as I tipped them handsomely and we both chuckled like mad when I gave back a hundred or so sachets of unused tomato ketchup and asked for more coffee creamer (thanks guys that was fun).

I will write a post about my kamikaze tipping in my last few months of Bangkok, because, well, I was in the mood and yet it led to some heated scenes of frenzied artificial popularity that I don't wish to repeat in. But anyway, watch the ad and see what you think. Can you understand it?




I have to say I'm a bit of unusual about the Cantonese accent. It's about as sexy as a Cockney one, which that too can work nicely although is highly subjective, unlike I think a thick Brummie accent which doesn't do as well. Anyway I love those drawn out vowels on Canto chicks.

This movie and specifically this clip might have something to do with it as I first watched Chung King Express in the 90's, and which I've lifted off (nicked) for both my creative briefs and on this blog. I mean check out that blue heart action on Fay Wong which is to die for and frankly there probably is no better director than Wong Kar Wai than in this movie, except for 'In the mood for love'. Possibly one of the most beautifuly directed movies ever (outside of the sensational Korean location based Spring, Summer, Autumn, Winter, Spring by Kim Ki Duk of Korea)



I'd really like to embed a couple more clips, specificially the Korean movie I just mentioned and a last Fay Wong bopping to the Mamas and the Papas in the food stall but it's just too precious this formatting at the moment, so until another time you can check out more of the McDonalds information over here.

Nixon & Complexity




Prior to George W Bush the most reviled president by pretty much unanimous opinion in recent American history was Richard Nixon. However, after a few years of listening to my early American baby boomer friends or non octogenarian civil rights supporters trash the name of Richard S Nixon I took the time to read into this complex figure who in my eyes is pretty much inseparable from Kissinger as they both dominated the political stage that extended from a year before my birth in 1969 to 1974 when Nixon was ceremoniously (sic) squeezed out of the Whitehouse while walking across the Rose Garden lawn towards the helicopters with one final wave to the cameras before a life of relative obscurity.

There's something about seminal helicopter shots in U.S. history such as the last line of South Vietnamese people desperate to bail out of Vietnam before the Viet Cong triumphed with the fall of Saigon. Yeah, helicopters and history is something I'll always associate with the Americans in much the same way that the Chinese will forever be associated with Tanks and squares.


 


 Incidentally this famous photograph of the fall of Saigon was taken by Dutch photojournalist Hugh Van Es who died just under a month ago here in Hong Kong. It is all connected you know even if it's largely some illusory Black Swan post rationalised causality.


Traditionally the view of Nixon is one of mendacity, vulgarity and sneaky subterfuge, and yet, it is one I can reconcile with the other side that I want to talk about because let's face it, the problems don't lie with our politicians, they lie with the electorate and our complete inability to handle the truth or even discuss it in an adult manner. That doesn't mean I'm not surprised by the sheer scale of human fallibility over on the other side of the Atlantic with the MP's expense claims which are surely not that far morally from those who claim income support while having an income from work. Benefit cheats sounds so much more dramatic and I'm surprised the press haven't dreamed up a more sticky label for the "right dishonourable members of the Parliament". I digress.


 Clearly the thorniest role that confronted Nixon was Vietnam and there's no denying that in order to extricate the United States from that holy fuck up of ideological warfare in proxy countries that a lot of nasty, ugly and criminal decisions were taken such as the bombing and warfare that took place across the Ho Chi Minh trail which veered into Laos (the most bombed country in the history of the world) and Cambodia thus compromising the lives of millions of their own inhabitants. I'm on record as being hugely fond of the Laotians and the Khmer because of the inexplicable and retarded snobbery they face from other developing world candidates such as Thailand who exercise the rule of marginal superiority acted out from deeply evident insecurity in the manner of the arriviste nouveaux riche against old money while more than aware that side by side with the Benz and it's logocentric Star, is the sticky steamed rice, the stink bean and the ubiquitous calloused hands from pre-school tilling of the paddy fields of Isaan, more often than not controlled by the plutocratic Siamese Chinese families as indeed they do across South East Asia.


 But back to Vietnam because despite the claims of denial by Kissinger  (Nixon is now gone) there can be little ground for conceding that nobody knew what was going on in the Mekong Delta and it's a crime against humanity that only the land of the free are obliged to defend themselves against. However we all know that 95% Americans don't even know the difference between Taiwan and Thailand because as long as the milk and honey is flowing in the lands where territorial transgressions are the sticky issues there's little need to have an empathy for what is known as 'the other'. When it's always about two sides isn't it?
 Which brings me on to the nature of this post because I'm of the opinion that the duality of binary classification is no longer a simplistic luxury we can afford and it's time if you haven't started to look, for the complexity and infinite shades of grey that exist between the polar states of good and bad, black and white, north and south or up and down.


 Life isn't some post war halcyon consumer years of rosy cheeked goodness and evil empire badness, though of course that latter term was Reagan's contribution to political history, yet we now see Obama introducing the nuance of different types of Islam between Cairo and Jakarta and which it would be wise to pay attention to (if taking a look at Islamic country birth demographics for example).


To bring anything to the advertising planning table is the ability to embrace complexity and distance oneself from the relentlessly overly simplistic reductionist role of account planning which is one part science to two parts art and not the other way round.  Particularly now we know that homo economicus is forever dead. And so with that mental perspective in mind I want to reverse back, full speed and with screeching tires (distant sound of police siren in the background) into Nixon's career because it was his role with the Plumbers and the repeated and subsequently scandalous 'break ins' of the Democrat National Committee Headquarters at the Watergate office complex and now forever preserved in political history and it's meme like propensity to term any scandal with the suffix of 'gate' and which first came to light when on June 17, 1972, Frank Wills, a security guard at the Watergate Complex, noticed tape covering the locks on several doors in the complex. He took the tape off, and thought nothing of it. An hour later, he discovered that someone had retaped the locks. The scandal revealed the existence of a White House dirty tricks squad but to my mind, the democrats could have played a smarter game with what they left out for the uninvited breaking and entering squad.


More to the point is that the labeling of Nixon as  monolithic-bad doesn't do justice to one of the more contradictory and paradoxically subtle minds of the post-war Whitehouse. Here we have a president as in the above video playing his own Piano Concerto.


Furthermore once we distance ourselves from the morally repugnant Indochina actions and the break ins that subsequently required extensive lying, we have a figure who was easily one of the most intellectually qualified of his era, and a character who was responsible for the detente that was fostered in partnership with the Soviet Union (unthinkable really given the postwar context) and most markedly became the first president to visit Chairman Mao and extend the hand of tentative friendship with the Communist China.


 One only has to think of the McCarthy era to understand the deeply Pavlovian response of the American peoples to anything of a socialist nature despite the recent global socialization of the banking system from the efforts of their last GOP president.


Nixon was also responsible for the creation of the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) "clean air, clean water, open spaces" and so we have a complex figure with both the vulgarity of a Bronx bare-fist fighter and the intellectual subtle fingered sensitivity of  a concert pianist, the diplomacy skills of the long term thinker and player as well as the DNA of a progressive environmentalist. Arguably the only game in town as we observe the decline of the American empire.


So in summary embrace complexity and only settle on reductionist simplicity once the really hard work of weeding out the immortally terrible and the infinitely unworkable.


A lot more difficult than one might think.

(I'll come back and try get the formatting right but it's still a mess in draft blogger)

Wednesday 10 June 2009

Hong Kong




Well it's been a while since I was last here, messing about on a Tokyo story that wasn't directed by Ozu (小津 安二郎), but I'm very happy to be back and also frankly checkout of The Conrad Bangkok, where I could have holed up for another week while running up a large tab of Pellegrino popping antics.

I've still got my India trip to do and that's going to happen but in the mean time I'm sort of back in love with Hong Kong because I'm reminded how much more breadth there is here. I've often pointed out that if one were to choose the Sinified capital of Asia it has to be Hong Kong both historically, business-wise and geographically. Tokyo is too hermetically sealed as a culture even though I love all things Nippon. Korea too is probably hipper than the former colony now as they just do their own thing with TV and K-Pop production (check that video out on top - three times and you're hooked on pop) which while inspired from elsewhere is definitely on another level. But yet the Koreans or the Japanese aren't known for their multilateral view on things. Xenophobia some might call it but all Asiaphiles will have noticed that this is one area where full marks aren't scored across the board, although I've always appreciated the Malaysian vibe on that point or maybe I've lucked out meeting the best quality people in Penang.

In any case, while no longer the most achingly hip. I still think Hong Kong deserves the moniker of 'Asia's capital'. It reaches all around for cultural influence and yet its past is undeniable, its present is still formidable and the future could well be more than just a Shanghai satellite. Of course Shanghai is the capital-of-currency in China and is arguably the Leviathan of Asia; definitely an exciting city to live and work in but yet for me it's the more sedate Beijing, the seat of power and home of the tanks that more fully represents the bits of China I like the most. Intellect, power, thoughtful, less greedy than its sister Shanghai and in lots of pockets more sophisticated from it's exposure to the international diplomatic ranks.

Anyway after an awesome flight with Emirates who over delivered on food (God dammit that Tuna lemon grass starter really kicks ass) and service (largely gay yet cheerful and authentic) I checked into Hong Kong immigration, once again during a time where people were sporting white face masks (the last time was during the SARS crisis, it's that deja vu thing all over again).

Hong Kong's Chek Lap Kok is yet another awesome Asian airport (built on reclaimed land from the sea) and like Suvarnhabhumi, Incheon, Beijing, Changi and all the rest is yet another reason to appreciate this part of the world while Heathrow whinges on about terminal five (are we there yet?) and the US whinges on about terminal decline. It's the Asian century isn't it?

 One more point that contrasted nicely was when, complete with squeezing luggage, I met up with friends in the Jardine House (the one with the circular windows) in Grappa's Cellar located on the basement and was treated to a full-on live swing band and swing dancers and it occured to me that this semi amateur gang of people who were getting off on their own subculture that nods in respect both musically and in dance form to the 30's and reminded me heavily of Malcolm X's autobiography (completed by Alex Haley) with mad scenes of lindy hopping (and the nutmeg and the hookers and finally the Nation of Islam) and I remembered that despite really really liking my trips into the heart of the slums of Bangkok (where I find out how the country ticks) and the sizzling neon lightlife so close by that there's so much more culture happening in places like Hong Kong and which possibly explains the myopic and insatiable nosiness of the Siamese who largely don't even discuss the big two of health and education because a nation of car park whistle blowers and maids is exactly how the priviliged wish to keep it. Priviliged.

I've deliberately left out Singapore in this post because Singapore is unique for me from an Asian perspective and I don't want to spoil it with what should ideally be written within the Island State. And I will.

But lastly as I made my way up the hill after the ferry ride, with a heavy and loaded suitcase in the dripping humidity of the Island I'm staying on; stripped to the waste and ranting in the gloomy night about hiring a car for the final leg of my journey ("there are no cars on the Island Charles") I finally made it up the flights of stairs with the artifice and efficacy of anger to pull that bitch of a suitcase up the steps one by one and yet when I was finally shown to my room I looked up and saw the light and smiled because it doesn't matter where I am it's only a matter a time and then one by one I'll knock you out.
,

#canneslions



Well I had no idea that Microsoft had sponsored the Cannes advertising festival for the last eight years but despite that had joined up with the Facebook group this year in case it proved a useful resource. They've got a hashtag on twitter for the event so adding #canneslions will update there site over here.

Furthermore after my seminal Microsoft Live post (or was that semenal?) they've leveraged their own resource and got a profile page for additional networking and social media utility although they so need to get some bad boy action into that site to add some zing.
Frankly after this post I feel that their endline "You dream it, we deliver it" resonates a bit closer to home. Don't marketing people get the whole 'we're-taking-the-piss' endline yet? ;)

Thursday 4 June 2009

Are You A Champ?

Some mates of mine are setting up an agency in Bangkok and are looking for an account director. They are Westerners, and have a ton of Asian experience under their belt. One has even written my favourite print ad of all time.

They've got some interesting collaborators and backers and so it's an opportunity for someone currently based in Bangkok or about to move here.

You should have all the things that make brilliant suits such as diplomacy, courage, intelligence, salesmanship, drive & charm to forge a way into the future that nobody is really certain of.

I see from my email these days that there's a lot of people being laid off right now and so I believe that somewhere out there is a quality account person with good results behind them, and quite possibly with their best work still ahead of them.

This is an equal opportunities position.

Email me and I'll put you in touch.